ONESHOTS ONESHOTS ONESHOTS !!

zuicide

I'm sad. So, Izuku gets my wrath once again!!! This is poorly thought out w no plot, written terribly at 2 am. Ignore spelling errors pls, like said it's 2 am and I'm on my phone hh

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Izuku Midoriya has never been okay. He doesn't think he wants to. After so many years, he finds a sick sort of comfort in the dark, in the sadness that weighs down his gut and tells him to sleep in just another hour. He thinks that he is the darkness and the darkness is him, because it is all consuming and nothing has ever stopped it no matter how hard he tries.

And so, he has a history of things like self harm and drug use and eating disorders and even suicide. It's nothing new for his family, either. When he was bad at hiding it, his family would see the cuts on his arms and they would take him to his therapist who would tell him it's not a big deal.

It's apart of him, all of these things. The depression is like an old friend of his, one that makes him want to silently melt away and become nothing and everything at the same time.

At U.A., he is not cured. There will be no magic cure for him, he thinks. No matter his happiness he will find himself in his bathroom with a blade and blood on his hands and lost time.

---

He makes friends. Its unusual. He makes friends and hey don't judge him or call him weird or sneer at him. They smile and laugh and seem to genuinely value his input and he is on cloud 9.

His cuts heal and scar, with flaky skin and purple and pink marks, and he is distracted.

He hangs out with Uraraka and Asui, who asks to be called Tsuyu or Tsu, with Iida and sometimes even Todoroki, whom Izuku has taken to calling Shoto after the sports festival.

Shoto is like him. He has blank eyes and faint scars on his wrist, and yet he doesn't have large scars nor new ones. He tells Izuku, in the comfort of their privacy in the middle of the night when neither can sleep, that he had been young. He had taken scissors to his wrist because of all that his father had done, filled with rage and sadness and so much more that is impossible to describe accurately.

Shoto tells him he doesn't any more, didn't like the pain when he already had to deal with training, and that it was hard to hide from Endeavor. Izuku does not tell him about his own encounters or the scars on his wrists and thighs and ankles, and yet Shoto stares at his forearms with a sad glint in his eyes.

They part ways soon after.

----

Izuku is stressed.

Everything is piling up, and he is so far behind. He is at the top of his classes but his quirk still runs wild and he is no where near as close as his classmates in skill level. He can barely use One For All without blowing off his limbs.

His sadness is back. The distraction of friends is temporary, and Izuku is sad again.

He does not want to get out of bed. His limbs feels as if they're made of lead or strapped to bricks to gold him down or like there are thorns crushing his lungs and heart. He stares up at his ceiling until Shoto knocks on his door to check on him.

Only then does he get up and get ready.

--

"What took you so long?" Iida asks, brows furrowed.

Izuku shrugs. His throat is closed up, almost - talking just feels wrong. He merely sips at the cup of coffee he cradles in his hands. "Must have overslept," he says when the silence drags out for too long.

"...are you okay?" Shoto's voice is soft and hesitant as he asks, almost if he knows Izuku is a ticking time bomb. Like he's fragile or something.

"Of course!" He responds, immediately plastering a smile onto his face. Clearly, nobody believes him, but they leave him alone.