Diaries :Journey from hatred to love

Kashaf 13 October

Mujhe pata tha ye transfer meri zindagi ko azab bana dega. Phir bhi yeh galti ki maine. Pehle azab ka toh mujhe andaza tha magar ek aur azab ki umeed to nahi thi.
Aj din ki shuruat hi Sidra ke saath behas se hui. Pata nahi yeh ladki chahti kya hai. Mujhse choti hai par phir bhi behas karne chali ati hai.
"Kashaf tumhe ab Abba ke business ko join kar lena chahiye."
"Main yaha business join karne to nahi ayi."
"Par phir bhi ab tumhe apne business pe tavajju dena chahiye."
"Sidra bachkani baatein mat karo. Itni mehnat maine ye business sambhalne ke liye nahi ki.Tum to sambhal hi rahi ho humare toh ab usme mera kya kam. "
"Bachkani baatein main kar rahi ho ya tum?"
"Meri zindagi ke masle mat badhao aur Khuda ke liye yaha se jao. Mere pas tumse bina matlab ke behas ka waqt nahi hai."
Mujhe samjh me nahi ati ye baat ki akhir masla kya hai agar main kahi aur kaam karun. Isliye main Karachi nahi ana chahti thi. Agar mujhe Abba ke business ko hi join to main itni mehnat nahi karti.

Baat sirf mere passion ki hoti toh main shayad Abba ke business ko join kar leti magar sach to yeh hai ki mujhe apne rishtedaro ko dekhna bilkul pasand nahi. Humesha unloge ne mujhe ek ladki hone ke karan ehsas-e-kamtari ko mehsus karaya hai. Abba ke hum do hi betiyan hai aur unhe hum par humesha se fakhr tha magar har bar jab humare rishtedar hume na kabil kehte to Abba chup hi rehte. Ye chiz mujhe hamesha khati rahi hai. Abba bhi shayad yehi mante hai ki hum ladkiyan hai aur hum apni zindagi me khud kuch nahi kar sakenge.
Ye to khair ab roz ki baat hone wali hai. Har naye din ka agaz aise hi hoga yakeenan. Paise se soch nahi badalti yeh bhi sach hai. Mere rishtedaro ke pas beshumar daulat hai Abba ke pas bhi hai ,par soch kuch mukhtalif nahi bakiyon se. Islamabad jane se pehle bhi kuch aise hi halat the abhi bhi waise hi rahenge. Do saal sukun ke guzare maine waha. Ghar aur daftar dono ke hawale se. Ghar ke hawale se to mujhe yehi tawaqqu thi par ab daftar me bhi zindagi azab ban chuki hai. Sach kahun to jab main daftar pohnchi toh mujhe Sidra ka subah wala offer namunasib nahi laga. Par ye faisla bohot jazbati hota. Main todhi dair asmanjas main to thi jab Manager ne mujhe usse milaya.
"He is Mr.Zaroon Junaid.You will be working under him."
Us shaks ko dekhte hi mere chehre ka rang to ud gaya tha usne bhi ye mehsus kiya tha yakeenan isilye to uske chehre par jung jeet jane wali khushi thi.
Allah mere saath hi aisa kyu karta hai. Jo chiz mujhe na pasand ho usi ko bar bar mere samne la khara karta hai. Is bar woh na pasandeeda chiz Zaroon Junaid hai. Chiz hi kahungi use kyu aise logo ko insan batana ek tauheen hi hogi humare nasal ke liye. Kal pata nahi kya kya himakatein mera intezar kar rahi hai. Good night diary.