Twisted Feelings (Wattys 2024)

‎‧₊˚✧ 1. Annika ✧˚₊‧

"Dad, can you stop treating me like I'm a toddler?! I am fifteen years old, and I know that I am not allowed to date yet!" I yell at my father, knowing it will probably be a mistake.
"Annika Volkov! You will not yell at me like that! Do you understand!" his voice is loud and clear, I roll my eyes.
"And don't roll your eyes at me!" I've seen him angry thousands of times, and every time again, I know he'll calm down in some minutes.
"Yeah, whatever. I am just sick of you treating me like I'm 4 years old or something! Look, I know you care about me, but you also have to understand me! I want to fall in love with someone and not life here for the rest of my life!" I am frustrated and desperate for him to understand me - but I know he'll probably never will.
"Why are you two yelling again? Can't you just live together without almost killing each other?" Mom cuts me off. Dad looks at her, asking for help.
"Can you tell our daughter that she can't fall in love yet and especially not with a Harper?!" Like me, he sounds annoyed, and as he mentions Harpers son, my face goes red.
"Hold on.. Do you like Lukas Harper?" Mom laughs and looks at me, I just nod while my face is covered in a red color.
"It's impossible for her to date. Especially Lukas! I don't want it! I forbid it!" Dad yells at both me and mom.
"Just because you and Christian can't stand each other doesn't mean you can forbid our daughter to date his son!" Moms voice gets louder.
"Yes, I can, and I will! She can't date him!" Dad keeps yelling, but neither me nor mom listen to him. I roll my eyes.
"Don't you dare roll your eyes at me, young lady!" His voice echoes in the room.
"You're annoying!" I yell and leave the room, slamming the door, ignoring my dad's cursing.

I just can't stand him and his controlling behavior sometimes. I can't help it.. I am in love with Lukas, and I won't let him forbid me to date him. I love my dad, but sometimes I want someone else as a father. For example, Josh Chen, he is cool and doesn't control his daughter. I can still hear mom and dad arguing loudly with each other, and I know, for a fact, that it's because of me. I take my headphones and put them on so that I don't hear the yelling and insults my parents throw at each other. I lock my door and let myself fall onto my bed, listening to my playlist. Music seems to be the only thing that doesn't judge me for how I feel. And because of my dad and his stern and cold behavior, he always says that showing emotions is for the weak people only. And every time I do show emotions, he yells at me and tells me how weak I am and how he was forbidden to show emotions because of his dad. I know that my grandpa is stern when it comes to showing emotions, but dad told me he was beaten when he did show any emotions, which i think is a lie because I know that my grandpa would never hurt his son or me. I am interrupted by someone knocking on my door. I groan in annoyance and open the door to see my dad standing there. He looks apologetic.

"Kid, can we talk?" His voice did a 180 turn from his earlier yelling, and now he sounds like he regrets being so harsh to me - it's always the same.
"Why?" My tone stays annoyed and angry at him.
"I know I shouldn't have snapped at you like that, I'm sorry." A sad tone creeps into his voice.
"It's always the same, dad! You yell at me and then apologize. And every time you expect me to forgive you!" My tone is harsh, but he knows it's true.
"I know, I know... but you have to understand - you can't just go out with Lukas. He is a Harper."
"Yeah, and?! He is a Haprer, ok, and what's the problem? Mom is your best friends sister, and you still were together with her."
"You will not speak to me like that, Annika." His cold and harsh tone returns, and i know I should better stop, but I can't.
"I am allowed to speak my mind, father. And i will not let you forbid me to talk." I say, annoyed but clearly speaking what I think.
"You're lucky you're my daughter. Now, don't come out of your room until i call you. And give me that phone!" He yells. I roll my eyes but obey and give him my phone. He leaves my room and shuts the door. I lay back down on my bed, annoyed. I stare at my wall as it's the only thing i can do right now.

Some hours have passed of me laying in my bed, just staring at the wall in boredom. My dad yells from the kitchen and asks me to come to the kitchen for dinner. But I don't react and stay in my bed. He barges into the room and sounds annoyed.
"Annika Volkov, come to the kitchen. Now." His tone is laced with annoyance.
"Yes, dad." I say with a sigh and stand up. I tie my hair up in a ponytail before I follow him into the kitchen, where mom already waits with the dinner.
"Hey, sweetheart." She smiles and slides me my phone back over the table.
"Hey.." I try to hide my annoyance, but I am sure she knows i am way more than just annoyed - not with her but with dad. She flashes me a small smile as I sit down at the table across from her, while dad sits next to her. He still looks angry at me, but i ignore it and start to eat.

The while dinner over no one speaks a word, and it's really awkward. I look at my parents, and both of them seem tense. My gaze shifts down to my plate, and I continue eating. Why can't my parents just be normal.. and let me date Lukas. I love him.. Sometimes, I really wish I could feel whatever I want without being judged by my parents, especially by my father. I can't stop my eyes from tearing up as I recall my father's words.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?" My mother's tone suddenly calls out.
"Nothing.." My voice is really quiet and barely audible.
"Don't mumble your words, speak clearly."
"I said nothing!" This time, I speak really loud, and my voice is laced with anger as I talk to my dad.
"That's enough. Go to your room!" He yells and slams his hands down on the table as he stands up and leans over the table.
"Fine." I hiss and stand up, slamming my knife and fork down on the table. I storm off into my room and can hear my mom's sad sigh. I feel bad for her, but i can't help the anger I feel towards my dad right now.

I decide it's best for me if i go to sleep to forget about this whole day. I change into my sleeping clothes and lay down in my bed, playing some raining sounds to help me fall asleep faster. I close my eyes and slowly drift off into the dream world.