❝ trust them. I tell myself. they'll help you.❞
╰┈➤ on march 3, 1969 the united states navy established an elite school for the top one percent of its pilots.
its purpose was to teach the lost art of aerial combat and to ensure that the handful of m...
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and so here we are, axis and i sit side by side on an american airlines plane heading to fighter town, california. every pilots dream. i smirk to myself, aren't i lucky? my mind drifts back to bolt as i stare absently out of the window. it's my fault. i killed him. i should have shot that enemy jet down as soon as it got missile lock on sparrow and bolt but i didn't because i thought they had it handled. the voice in the back of my head repeats in at me in a monotone voice "murderer", "murderer", "murderer". i feel my lip twitch and my right leg starts bouncing nervously and the voice gets louder, practically screaming the word at me. i feel a hand on my leg pushing it down back into place, i glance down and then look at her face, it's axis of course.
"stop it" she says "what are you worried about?"
"nothing" i say quickly. i try to shove the thoughts of guilt and the voice far back into my brain.
"there's obviously something, tell me what's the matter" axis says looking into my eyes, her soft blue ones stare at me trying to get information out of me.
"it's just. it's different without them" i say keeping it brief
"sparrow and bolt?" axis says
"yes." i say flatly
"well it's to be expected, they were a big part of our lives" she says locking her fingers into mine to give me some level of comfort.
i reach down into my side pocket and drag my fingers across bolts old dog tags. i don't have the heart to get rid of them. i know his family probably wants them but i just can't do it. axis doesn't know i have them, she thinks i sent them off ages ago, i told her i couldn't bear to look at them. obviously a lie. they're the only thing that brings me comfort.
"it's just, i always thought if we ever got to the level of being good enough to go to top gun like we are now" i say before pausing briefly "that... they would be there with us, sitting on those seats over there, shouting over at us and asking if we want candy from their 50 thousand bags they definitely would have bought, being fools by singing stupid chants and doing idiotic hand movements. just being good old bolt and sparrow."
"i know you miss them, siren" axis says "i do too, you just have to suck it up and deal with it, shit happens, you can have a little cry but it can't stop you from achieving your dreams, It's what bolt would have wanted, just imagine him if he was here right now and he heard you like this, what would he say?" "quinnie , stop crying" i say sniffing as i remember his old nickname for me.
"exactly" axis says "so, do you promise me when we get to top gun, you're going to make an effort and try and meet some new people, you can't hang on to them forever siren, they're gone, wether you like it or not"
"i'll try" i say stroking bolt's engraved name in his dog tag
"good let's hope they're not a bunch of cocky shits" axis says
"i'll sort them out if they are" i reply
"all right miss high and mighty" axis says
"shut up, you rat" i say shoving her jokingly
"how rude, i am so offended!" axis says in mock offence "if i'm a rat i am a beautiful one"
"would your boyfriend still love you if you were a rat?" i ask giggling
"no, probably not" axis says
"divorce!" i yell but not too loudly that it annoys people on the plane
"i certainly wouldn't love him if he was a rat, he'd have whiskers, it's trouble enough getting him to be arsed to shave as it is" axis says
"throw him in the navy with us, he has to keep looking clean can't have random patches of stubble" i say still giggling, those melancholy thoughts pushed back into my mind, axis always has that bubbly effect on me.
"well, maybe i'd ought to do that, might straighten him out a little" axis says "oh and also who knows, maybe you'll meet a man suitable for your taste at top gun"
"i doubt it" i reply
the men i've seen in the navy so far apart from bolt and sparrow are pretty drab. our old squadron was just us 4 at 23 and then we had a bunch of random old men at like 65. riveting i know right. they would always go and watch the big games on television at the bar so axis,bolt,sparrow and i would vacate to the club where it wouldn't be so boring and we wouldn't reek of musty old person scent and stale beer.
"who knows, you might find yourself some strapping young guy" axis says "i do hope our class is young in their early 20's like us, i don't want a repeat of our old one"
"me too, old men are so boring, all they ever talked about was how long they had served" i say " always so serious as well, like lighten up a little, when it was our breaks or days off they sit there with a straight face"
"i know i found that quite odd" axis says
"ladies and gentlemen we have now landed in california, please do not stand up until the aircraft had finished moving" i hear the pilots voice say
i turn to axis and grin
"well here we are, sunny california" i say.
"ready to go kick some ass?" axis says with her own cheeky grin
"as always" i reply before giving her a quick high-five and standing up when the plane stops moving.
