ini de beninging ye girl
(shrek's perspective)
i was in the bread aisle looking for a baguette
when i saw the most shmexy creature i'd ever seen 😍 😩
low and behold, it was my love, anus..
i immediately picked up my new baba boii
and kissed him through his shiny plastic packaging..
he looked so shmexy rn..
in case i forgot to mention; i took him home with me and placed him next to my bed 😏
"nighty night anus, my love, the rock beneath my wing, i shall never leave you my pookie wookie bear"
the baguette didnt respond, but that didnt stop me,
i would always and forever love this bread with
ALL OF MY SHREK SOUL
(bread's perspective)
what is going on
i got bought by this lovely, wonderful ogre
he's calling me his pookie bear
...am i in love with him?
i mean, we only just met but he is GOWGEOUS
i will marry that man
*stares deeply into shrek's eyes*
*exists in oui oui baguette frAnch*
(shrek's perspective)
i think today might be the day when..
i confess my true feelings for anus..
he's so shmexy i love him
*i look deeply into anus's soul*
*and maybe a little at his anus*
"hello, my oui oui baguette friend.. OUCH!! i think i skinned me knee!!!!.. falling for you papi 😉"
*i giggle at the sight of the baguette blushing so hard i thought i spilled marinara sauce on him*
anus said "marry me baba boi"
"okay pookster 😏 and will you smoke marinara with me? 😍"
(bread's perspective)
"I dont have lungs, but sure"
i was over the moon ecstatic to be with my one true love, shrek
the way he looks at me...
to BE PUT IN THE TOASTER for
i stared into his soul again, filled with love
"shrek.. baby.. i made a poem for you"
*passes piece of paper*
"MY LOVE FOR SHREXY BABY"
i love you more than being franch..
more than oui oui baguette..
more than marinara..
"oh, anus, it's BEAUTIFUL!!" shrek exclaims
*they kisz*
(shrek's perspective)
*gets down on one knee*
"anus.. i love you baba boi.. will you marry me?"
*shrexy baby starts to cry tears of joy*
"yes, ofc i will pookie wookie bear, the apple of my eye, my one true love, my-"
*ed sheeran walks in*
"im falling fo yo eyes, but they aint know me yet" he whispers in the loaf of bread's ear
"y..you wouldnt leave me for HIM right pookie?"
*loaf of breadruns away with ed sheeran*
