Hydra's shadow

Chapter 14: Truth Hurts

*NATASHA'S POV*

I felt her stir gently against me as a strand of her hair fell lightly down across her face, resting on the end of her nose. It twitched just as she moved to brush the hair away, her hand placing back softly against my side.

I hadn't closed my eyes even hours after everyone else had left the room, finding comfort in just watching her as she slept. The only sound clear to me was her shallowed breathing, the only movement being the rhythmic rising and falling of her chest as she dreamt.

It had given me time to think, to truly process what had happened in the last few days. Since before Echo came here I'd assumed she was long gone by now, completely controlled by Hydra and Dreykov, just like James had been. I still felt an enormous amount of guilt and shame when I allowed myself to simply brush those kind of thoughts away, it made me out to be the worst possible kind of mother, one to just abandon her daughter and assume the worst whilst doing nothing about it. But the truth had always remained the same, I wanted more than anything to just know that she was okay, that she was alive and well, maybe even happy. I liked to think that she had been rescued after I had escaped, taken in by a family who would care for her and love her like I never could, because I never had the chance to. I longed to hold her again so tightly in my arms and never let her go. I wanted more than anything to go back to The Red Room and look for her, but after escaping I couldn't bring myself to go back, it was a suicide mission. And I couldn't justify risking my life to save my baby when I didn't even know where she was. I told myself I'd look for her when I was older, and had a more stable life with safety and security. The same year I joined S.H.I.E.L.D. I begun my search for her in secret, gathering information as I built my case, clinging to the only memory I had of her, the only thing keeping me going. But I never found her, like I'd always thought The Red Room was impossible to find, Dreykov too. And without him I couldn't find my daughter. I tried every year to look for her, keeping it from everyone as I took days away on an 'undercover mission' every few months if I had a lead. But the outcome was always the same, I had nothing. It was always nothing.

"ты плачешь, что случилось?"
("You're crying, what's wrong?")

I was startled out of my thoughts as her voice reached me, her eyes searching mine, glancing down my face to my cheeks which I could feel had already dried over with random streaks of tears. She raised her hand gently to my face, running the back of her finger along my skin as she wiped away the tear patches from my cheeks. I couldn't help but smile down at her in admiration, for so long I had believed that she would hate me for what happened between us, but here with her now I only felt relief and an overwhelming feeling of happiness, with the cutest little smile gleaming back at me.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Always." I assured, booping her nose gently as she scrunched it, pursing her lips together into that same smile I already adored.

"Do you know who my Papa is?"

Completely taken aback by her question I found myself at a loss for words, as she stared up silently in hope at me. I so badly wanted to give her the answer she was looking for, but the truth was I had no idea who he was, only that he was chosen by Dreykov, and he'd told me that was all I needed to know.

"I'm so sorry малышка (baby girl) but I honestly don't know. Dreykov never told me his name, only that he was genetically altered. That's where you would've inherited your super strength and enhanced abilities from."

"Oh.. that's okay Mama."

I felt a deep gut feeling swell in my stomach as I heard those words. After all this time I wouldn't have been surprised if she'd have lashed out, giving her no information on her past, even though I had none to give.