No More Tomorrows

Chapter 33: Enough!

I was annoyed that my parents had insisted I come for a family dinner so I'd deliberately showed up late. I'd been avoiding them as much as possible for the last six months because explaining Emily's absence every time was becoming harder and harder. Pulling into the driveway I noticed my brother's car wasn't there and that pissed me off. Why did I have to give up my Sunday but he hadn't been summoned.

The house was strangely quiet when I let myself through the front door. 

"Mum, dad I'm here. Where are you guys?" 

"We're back here son."

Making my way to the kitchen I had a sense of unease run through me. 

"Sorry I'm late. I was helping Emily with some studying. She's sorry she couldn't make it but she's got a big test tomorrow..." Looking around there were no plates on the table and I couldn't see any food platters on the bench. "Hey what's going on?" 

"Sit down please Grant."

My dad sounded so serious. Kind of like how he sounded the morning after he'd found me in Emily's bed in the garage apartment. I had previously promised him that we wouldn't have sex while she lived under their roof. In my teenage mind that didn't include the apartment. He didn't see it that way. I wonder what I'd done this time.

"What's up? You both look like someone died. Shit! Did someone die?"

I was starting to worry that maybe something had happened to grandma.

"Nobody has died but we asked you here because we need to have a very serious conversation and we need you to listen. Can you do that Grant. Can you please listen to what we have to say?"

I gave an uneasy chuckle. 

"This sounds like one of those interventions you see on TV. Like when somebody is an alcoholic and the family gets together to try and send them to rehab."

Neither of my parents laughed and my mum actually looked like she was about to cry.

"What's going on? You're worrying me."

My dad took my mother's hand in his and took a deep breath.

"Son we know that you and Emily are no longer together..."

I know he kept talking but after that opening sentence it felt like my stomach was trying to fall through to the floor. Who had spoken with them? Nobody knew we'd slit up except Emily and I.

"Dad I'm not sure what you've heard but it's only a temporary break..."

"Don't interrupt me again son. I need you to listen. After I finish then you can talk."

Mum was quietly crying.

"Emily came to see us earlier this week. Do not interrupt. I need you to let me talk. She wanted us to stop you from harassing her at work. She said she'd asked you repeatedly to stop contacting her and to stop sending things to her work, stop visiting her at work but you refuse to listen. She made it very clear that this is not a temporary break. That it's been six months since you split up and that she does not want to be with you any more. And son, after hearing why I cannot blame her. What were you thinking?"

I exploded out of the chair. Pushing it back so fast it tipped over.

"What do you mean she was here? Why would she come and see you? This is fucking ridiculous. If she'd just talk to me we could get past this!" 

I had my hands clenched behind my head to stop myself from grabbing my mother's fruit bowl and smashing it against the wall. The need to break something was overwhelming.

"Son you need to sit down and listen. I'm not finished."

I clenched my eyes shut and pulled at the back of my hair. Trying to calm myself down before I ripped into my father. I'd always respected my dad but right now I didn't want to listen to whatever he had to say. I hated that he knew what had gone down between Emily and I. I never wanted them to know. Especially my mother. I could feel how disappointed in me she was. Why would Emily do this to me. After a few more breaths I picked up my seat and sat at the table.

"She's making it seem worse than it was. It's all been blown out of proportion. I hate that she came to you guys and involved you in our business. I never wanted you to know we hit a rough patch. We're adults. You don't need to be in our relationship like this!"

The look my father gave me reminded me of all the times he'd quietly disciplined me as a kid. He wasn't a loud man but you definitely knew when you'd disappointed him.

"Grant it's not a rough patch. I need you to hear me son. She is not taking you back. She wants you to stop all contact with her. No more messages, emails, deliveries. Nothing. If you don't do that she's going to the police and with the amount of things you've done I'm afraid you'll end up arrested. Think about your future Grant. Think about what that will mean if you end up with a record for stalking and harassment. That will never go away."

"I'm not stalking her! She's the love of my fucking life. She won't talk to me and I'm just trying to get her to fucking talk to me!'

"Son you need to watch your language. You need to also understand that she doesn't have to talk to you. She owes you nothing. What you did to her is unforgivable and if she doesn't want you in her life you need to respect that."

My mother was now openly crying. I hated this. Everything was so fucked up because of one mistake and she wouldn't let me fix this. Why wouldn't she let me fix this?

"I love her dad. I know I fucked up. Boy do I know, but I love her. She's it for me. How do I fix this if she won't even give me a chance. I can't just walk away from her. And I know she still loves me. She's always loved me and a girl like Emily doesn't fall out of love that quick. I don't believe it."

This time it was my mother who spoke. Her voice sounded broken and I hated that my actions had made her so upset.

"Son that girl is like a daughter to me and the state of her when she came by this week scared me. She's lost so much weight. She looks terrible. The stress she's been under has made her physically sick. The fact that you're the one who caused this pain breaks my heart. I hate this. I do. I hate it for both of you. I know that you love her. I believe you. But son, she doesn't want you in her life and you don't have the right to force her to be in yours. Your actions caused this and sadly this is the outcome. I'd love her to be able to see fit to give you another chance but as a woman I can understand why she just can't."

Mum's tears were falling in earnest now.

"Please stop crying mum. I hate to see you cry. I just need one chance and she won't even talk to me. I quit my job. I gave it all up for her so we could start fresh and she won't even listen."

I felt tears start to fall from my own eyes. I hadn't actually cried as much as I'd raged these last six months. I was so mad at her for not being willing to talk with me. How could I fix things if she wouldn't even listen. I was so scared she'd never let me back in her life and I knew I'd never find anyone like her again.

"Son I know this hurts. I can't even imagine the pain your mistakes have caused you but you need to stop. You need to let her go. Give her space to heal. Give her time. If you want any hope of being in her life in the future in any way, you need to stop. Let some time pass and then maybe you can reach out and see each other again. If that love is as deep as you say it'll still be there but some of the hurt will be gone.

"I just want to talk with her dad."

"I know son but for now you need to stop. That's enough."