Nemesis {SuhoxSeojun}

Chapter 6,5: The solution

SEOJUN POV:

Sitting on my window sill, the orange sun set down while my fingers were lasciviously strumming my guitar strings.

My exams were over two days before the official vacation date, which meant I finished before all of my friends. However, my label asked me to submit a first demo before the summer holidays so that I could think about the direction of the next album. An hour had passed since I picked up the guitar, and the inspiration still wasn't there. The chords echoed in the room like letters sent to the sea, and my mind drifted away, my lips whispering a few meaningless words. For two weeks now —several times a day— I surprised myself looking where I had hidden this book.

I had read this book more than the number of books I had read in my life. No matter how often I thought about it, the content left me with contradictory emotions. Anger had turned to hurt. Knowing that my blood was special to Suho, I had no fucking idea how to wrap my head around it. All the details in the book didn't help calm my fears.

He should have told me about it. Suho spent his time asking questions and protecting himself from the world. I wondered if he would have found the strength to lower his barriers and tried to make me understand and warn me about the danger or if he would eventually let an accident happen to have the balls to tell me. Yes, that's it. I was upset, angry at him, worried for him, sad that we hadn't spoken for two weeks. I was a mess. I sucked at those kind of things. I didn't know what to do.

Then, the times when Suho looked like he wanted to bite me —at home, at the gym, in the hallways... He never did it, always managed to hold back, and all the while, he must have been so scared of himself. "Since I tasted your blood, it doesn't satisfy me anymore." He tried to warn me. No, he did. I was just in my little bubble... I didn't see it coming. I didn't think it was so important at the moment.

A sigh escaped me. I felt like that was all I was doing those past few weeks, sighing. This state of passivity irritated me, but I didn't know how to get out of this situation. Should I call him? Should I see him? Should I wait for him to come back to me? Part of me wanted Suho to face his fears and come back and talk to me, but another part kept reminding me that I was the one who asked for time.

Telling myself that I had so much power over him made me uncomfortable. According to the book, the stronger the bond, the more power the Nemesis had over the vampire as if the prey had become the predator. As a Nemesis, I could influence his moods and needs and manipulate him just because my blood was special.

I cleared my throat at the thought, trying to breathe deeply to get rid of this lump deep in my stomach.

"It's fucked up..." I muttered, sighing again, as Gowoon walked past my door with bags.

I ran a hand through my hair, paying her no attention.

The words exchanged during our argument were still pounding in my head and seemed to come to life, further accentuating my frustration. "I'm like a drug to you?" "How am I supposed to trust you now?" My words, actions, and everything I had said or done must have affected Suho in ways I could never understand. Deep down, this connection with Suho inexplicably affected me, like something immutable and undeniable that had always been there.

That scared me. I didn't know if I was capable of taking on such responsibility.

A sad and uncertain melody resonated as my fingers slid over the guitar's strings. Despite my efforts, my inspiration was drowned out by memories of our argument and unfinished explanations. I continued to play, trying to contain my thoughts through the vibration of my instrument, but each chord seemed to evoke him —his thin features, dejected posture, and pleading look.