my heart is dying

1

Chapter 1 : a new information.

-

Soulmates, a red string, a connection that brings people together. The most ridiculous thing that dazai has ever heard about in his entire life as a 15 year old. People are stupid enough to worry about who their soulmates are without even knowing if its a real thing or a myth, never in his life will he ever believe in those dumb mythology.

He simply doesn't understand how people feel warmth and love from another person.

....

Not until he feels his heart thumping inside of his ribcage. Accelerating the longer he looked at the boy, his breath short as he felt like he was suffocating, an experience described when you encounter a stupid thing called a soulmate. Shit. Curse this damn myth.

His breath was getting erratic and unstable, his heart pounding hard until it couldn't anymore. Was this normal? Is this how it felt to have a soulmate? It felt like he was dying, he felt happy. So this is how it felt to have a soulmate. The brunette wondered, 'is there a chance to die because of his "soulmate"?'

His mouth curved up into a sloppy grin as his vision became hazy, falling onto the school tiles- THUD! The sound of his body crashing onto the floor earned the attention of every person in the classroom, including his soulmate. He can feel those prism blue eyes staring at him in a disbelieving manner as his line of sight began fading into darkness.

-

It was a rather good and sunny day, which is rare for dazai since it was almost normal for him to complain and whine on how the sun is always aiming at him, it makes it feel like the bandages are stuck to his skin and makes him sweat. Which he despised, he can go all day ranting to odasaku about his hatred for going out in the sun- he normally doesn't, odasaku is the one who forces him to go out.

Which is why he is out in the sun again.

-

'dazai, you're always stuck in your room, even your room smells.' odasaku noted as he took the surroundings of dazai's room and planted it into his head, making sure to clean up his room today before he landed his eyes on a certain mop of hair that belongs to his brother.

Dazai was stuck under the blankets, only showing his mop of hair, his body facing the wall. The room was more...messier than usual to say the least. Oda had a hunch that something was bothering Dazai based on his mannerism. Dazai normally doesn't act like this unless something happened, which really concerned oda because normally it wasn't this bad.

The only incident that messed dazai that badly was that incident.

Oda is aware how messed up dazai is ever since he met that man. The man who was supposedly dazai's teacher, the man who wrecked his brother's mind. Ever since the day dazai broke down Infront of him, apologizing, snot and sobs breaking out from him. Dazed and confused, mixture of horrible feelings.

Repeating the same words.

"I'm sorry, im sorry.. im sorry., im ssorry.. i didn't want him to do that.. i couldn't stop him.."

dazai broke down in the middle of their dinner together, chanting the same words as if its a mantra.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you.."

Dazai's whole body quivered, his head not lifting up anytime soon to look oda in the eye.His words blubbering together, mixed with his sobs and pleads.