Faith In The Wild •CARL GRIMES•

Heart beat

Thump.. thump.. Thump.

My heart beating so calmly against my palm, yet my mind running constantly in circles.

"I can feel your heart beat. Isn't that so cool?" I heard my voice echo in my head.

--"Woah.. yeah, that is cool!"--

You were so precious.

--"Can I feel yours?"--

"Mhm. You wanna know something even cooler? Feel right here." I took your fingers and placed them on my wrist, so you could feel my pulse.

--"You have a heart in your.. wrist?"-- You joked.

I giggled. "Noo, silly. It's my pulse. Your heart beats and circulates blood through your whole body, using your veins. "

You were fascinated by this and your icy blue eyes sparkled in the sunlight. I adored your smile with your little dimples and speckled freckles, you were so innocent.

--"You're right, that is cooler than a heart beat. Where'd you learn all this, Bells?"--

This is so perfect, it's just us, sitting in a corner shielded from the light rain and away from all the loud and judging 4th and 5th graders out on the playground. You were perfect, you're smart and funny and-

My endless rant in my head was interrupted by you.

--"Bella?"--

"Hm?"

--"You okay? What happened? You just.. went blank."--

"Oh.. um, yeah, yeah. I'm okay, sorry." I said, embarrassment bleeding through me.

"I think your mom's here, though.. so you better get going. I'll see you tomorrow, Carl." I offered you a soft smile as I waved goodbye, but little did I know, that was the last time I'd see you, probably.. ever.

The cool air caused me to shiver, snapping me out of my thoughts as a tear ran down my cheek.

My heart didn't beat the same as it did that day. I didn't think it ever would.

I glanced out my window, looking at the moon and praying that somewhere out there... maybe you were too.

It had been four years since the beginning of the end of the world, and I still couldn't believe it. This is really what the world is now? Yet somehow I kept my Faith, through all of it. It was all I had to cling to.

I sat up in my bed, crossing my legs and clasping my hands as I pressed them to my forehead.

"God," I began. "I don't understand Your plan, maybe I'm not even supposed to.. but please give me peace. I don't know what to do, I have no one except You, and I know You're all I need but-" I took a sharp inhale, holding back the tears that were fighting to leave my dark brown eyes.
"I'm so lost." I whispered.

Tears crawled down the bridge of my nose, hitting my blanket. My chest felt like I couldn't breath.

"Lord, guide me. Tell me what to do because I can't do this by myself. I can't. Lead me, help me to understand my purpose on this dying world. Protect me and give me Wisdom in all that I do, so I can make wise decisions and do what's best. I'm scared.. God, I'm scared. Please show me what I'm here for, give me something to push through with.. give my heart rest."

I swallowed the lump in my throat, I hated crying, even if I was alone.

"Thank You... for letting me come this far. And, Lord, help me keep in mind how precious every day is. Keep me humble, I don't wanna become like some of the people around here, they're worse than what's outside those walls." I sighed.

"In Your name, I Pray. Amen.."

I took a deep breath, laying down and closing my eyes tightly. Hoping to get at least some sleep, unlike most nights.

As I drifted off into sleep, my breath fell heavy.

Hours passed, I'm sure. It felt like the best night's sleep I've had in a while.. which was much needed for what was ahead.

I stirred in my sleep, I left my window open so that the cold air would wake me up before the sun rose. And surprisingly, it worked.

I wiped my eyes and then sat up, yawning as I stumbled out of bed.

I laced up my old and worn out boots. Throwing my seriously over grown, dark brown hair up in a messy high pony.

My hair was layered because I was bored with it one night and decided to trim it. My bangs framed my face in a messy yet pretty way but I didn't care, I just wanted it off my face so I tucked them behind my ears and continued getting ready.

I rummaged quickly through my drawers and grabbed what I needed. I folded some clothes and shoved them to the bottom of my back pack, along with an old flashlight, my Bible, and in the midst of my packing, at the very bottom of my drawer... Was a necklace.

It had a silver, dirty chain and a small cross in the middle. Carl had given it to me the last day of school before summer break, for my birthday.

He knew I was Christian, and he respected that. Honestly, I think it was kind of growing on him, even if he never liked to show it.

That was last day I ever saw him, May 20th, 2010, both the best and worst day of my life, yet I didn't even know.

My eyes were fixed on its coiled up chain in the bottom of my drawer, I bit my lip, trying my hardest not to cry again. I tried forgetting about Carl, but he never left my mind.

I grabbed the necklace and put it around my neck, then quietly opened my mini fridge that they gave me, took whatever food would last, and left the rest.

I changed out of my pajama shorts and shirt, changing into a pair of black, ripped skinny jeans, a baggy grey shirt, and a black zip up hoodie. I slipped my arms through the back pack straps, grabbed my pocket knife, then climbed out the window I had left open.

I looked back at my room, the empty, beige walls and odd open space. That room was a trap from every way you could look at it, it felt like a prison. I needed out and I didn't care if I left behind Woodbury, it was run by a guy everyone called "The governor" as if he was any more important than the rest of us.

He was the most likeable person I knew, because he was a good liar, he knew all the right things to say that made people happy, but I saw right through it all.

From what I heard, Woodbury attacked a prison not far from here, just probably 5 or 6 months ago. People were there and our people said it was a bad fight and many were injured.

That was my last straw.

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Y'allllll this chapter is like.. really short I'm sorryy😭

I had the intentions of making short chapters and slowly progressing into them getting bigger, but I sort of jumped ahead of myself in the ones to come.... my bad.
But yaaa I went in and edited Bella's birthday bc girl wdym September 22nd is the last day before summer break💀 So yeah I had to change that before anyone noticed. (Totally you forgot! .... right? Right.)

But if you find it anywhere else in the rest of the chapters, saying that her birthday isn't May 20th, PLEASE TELL ME🥲🥲 I'll fix it as soon as I can.

ANYWAYS I LOVE YOU GUYS THANK YOU FOR READING!

May the journey begin.....

-Author🍂