It all started when I had to move to another country and leave my friends and my family behind.
I began to rely on social networks to communicate with whom I trusted, and my life started to be something like this:
{Me}
Hey
{SJ}
Hey
Sorry for taking so long...something happened
{Me}
U ok?
{SJ}
No, i'm not. You?
{Me}
I'm alive ...and feeling terribly bad .. About what i said to you today ....
{SJ}
Don't be I've heard worse and right now I don't care about that at all
{Me}
Sure?
{SJ}
Yeah, my grandfather just had blood clots on his lungs and was taken to hospital, he's there now
{Me}
oh my god ... I hope he gets better...
{SJ}
I think this is it, he's very weak, he can't hold on much more, im not ready for this, he's my best friend in the whole world and means everything to me, I can't loose him.
Not now
I need him
{Me}
I don't know what to do in times like this ... but I'll always be here if you need ... if is there anything i can do to help... just tell me ....
I mean...I lost my best friend last year and I know how hard it is to lose someone so close ... but I always say that the spirit never dies. He'll be always with you/in you no matter what happens! .... and this is for the worst, because if he gets better?...
hope and integrity are the last to die...
{SJ}
Thank you for everything, you don't need this, I'll leave you alone.
{Me}
..it's okay ... I just want to help you! Is good unburden with someone ...
{SJ}
Everything seems to fall apart at the same time, I hate all of this and the one thing that bothers me most is that i'm not allowed to go too..
I'm no allowed to die.
{Me}
you're not allowed because you don't need ..... these things only make you stronger, just make you understand what life is made of..... 300,000 bad things and 1000 good things .. and even then you can stand, because these good things are much stronger and memorable than the bad things!
and you don't always need to go through this alone.
you have me and all your others friends ... just waiting to be on your side when you need it, just as you did for us once
{SJ}
Fuck life, I don't want this, why does it have to be like this? There is no reason, why bother when everything just falls to shit, I don't want to be a part of that for a reason as fucking stupid as "that's just life" well all I have to say to that is fuck life, i'm sorry for being like this I just don't want to let go of anyone else.
{Me}
I know .... if I had the explanation for why things just go wrong I'd be the happiest person in the world ....but i'm not... and my life has always been sad ... I suffered like hell when I was smaller and I changed schools three times because I was beaten ... I had to cross the sea to find what makes me like to live ... and even this is temporary ..... so don't give up so soon. .. not everything has a right answer ... not everything is fair ... but there's always something worth living! the instinct of the human being is to save his own life .., so it must have something good to people fight for this ....
{SJ}
I haven't found that something yet, I did but that's gone too, youre right though, I just have to keep searching for it, thank you for your help, im sorry, i'm just being ignorant, selfish and inconsiderate. You've been through alot worse than me and here I am complaining like a bitch, I guess if you can go on I could try harder, you seem to be good at this.
{Me}
Sorry if I'm bothering you ... I just want to help ... if you want me to leave you alone ... Just tell me ...
only remember that hope, integrity and generosity are the last things die...
And one more thing....
I never said this before..... but ...you and my girlfriend are the only reason I'm still alive .... so, thank you ...
{SJ}
I was about to say the same about you and her, thank you for your support, you help more than anyone else seems to, don't doubt yourself about that
{Me}
😊 I'm happy to help ... and hope you have at least smiled a bit after this philosophy class about life haha
{SJ}
Little bit maybe, you really help put things into perspective for me, it makes things easier for me
{Me}
That 's good haha
{SJ}
i recived a call and he seems to be okay but things could change so they're keeping him there for a while
{Me}
see ! I think he'll be fine......I'm sending all my positive energy for him ...
{SJ}
Thank you but i'm not so sure
{Me}
just don't give up ...
{SJ}
I'll try but it'll be hard, so are you okay?
{Me}
I'll be here if u need me ....
And... I think i'm ok...
{SJ}
Ok.. I need to go, See u latter.
{Me}
Ok bye
.
.
.
{SJ}
hey
{Me}
Hey
{SJ}
So how's things
{Me}
ah ... Normal .. I think...
{SJ}
Is that bad?
{Me}
I don't think so... I don't know...
{SJ}
Is there anything I can do for you
{Me}
Nah... I'm ok.. Thanks...
You know when things are just fine? Like...nothing bad going on ... like everything in peace....
{SJ}
Yeah, pretty mellow and calm
{Me}
Yeah...
{SJ}
Sounds nice, that's what I need right now ,I think
{Me}
if you close your eyes, take a deep breath ... and forget everything that already happened in your life just for a moment .. you may be able to feel that
{SJ}
I'll try, thank you
{Me}
you are welcome
{SJ}
I don't think I'll go out tonight, not feeling it, just need to chill out I think
{Me}
ok ... you better recover the soul ... hospitals usually bring a very tense and dark vibes
{SJ}
My soul was shattered long ago, once something like that is broken it doesn't recover, sorry about me, but im just a little upset.
{Me}
It's ok....but I prefer to believe that every human being exchanging soul every strong event ... as if a new life began .... so you're not broke ... only getting used to a new life ...a new soul.....
Sorry i have to put my brother to sleep ... and then I think I'll sleep too ......really Sorry...
We can talk more tomorrow...
or I'll call you when my brother sleep...
{Me}
It's okay you don't have to, Good night...
.
.
.
{SJ}
Hey
{Me}
hey , are u ok?
{SJ}
Yeah
{Me}
so what are u up to?
{SJ}
Trying not to destroy myself and slip into insanity, you?
{Me}
Just thinking of nothing... But what do you mean? What is wrong?
{SJ}
Just pissed off
{Me}
Ah...
{SJ}
So, How do you bandage a cut on your side?
{Me}
if the cut is superficial....clean with antiseptic then places a gauze or cotton folded up and then holds with tape ...
if it's deep...
approach with the fingers the skin closing the cut ... then secure with tape and then put antiseptic and then cover with the bandage that I explained before...
{SJ}
Okay thank you, and headache?
{Me}
take a medicine for headache ... sit somewhere and wait your body to do the rest ... and if not stop bleeding in 30 minutes ... goes to doctor
{SJ}
okay
thanks you're helpful, I usually have to help other people with this stuff, its nice to have it the other way around, but no doctors
{Me}
Okay...do what you want ... Just stay alive ....
{SJ}
Where's the fun in that?
{Me}
In stay alive?
one thing that people don't normally think of when they want to die is that their life is not an isolated thing in the world in which u sets come and go without disturbing the rest ..... the problem is that life is a tangle of experiences and emotions .... yours and others .... all together and mixed .... and if you die everything else collapses and dies together ...
and the funny thing are the ties that we do .... to get out of bad vibes ... and to live with something we don't know ... or don't like .... and at the end .... you die as an artist ...
but only at the end ...only when all of us are prepared to fall ...
{SJ}
Youre good at this
{Me}
At what?
{SJ}
Helping me, your understanding and interpretation of life makes me feel better about things and helps give a positive aura
{Me}
I am happy to be able to help you....
and I'll be here with my thoughts and crazy theories about life ... whenever you need...
{SJ}
Thank you, they help alot
{Me}
😊
