Faith In The Wild •BOOK I•

|3| On Edge

With the rain and hair in my face, I couldn't see where I was going, all I knew was that nothing was going to stop me from getting there. A lot of things were going to try, though.

A verse from my childhood rang through my head like a sounding alarm, all that kept me from giving into the pleas of my aching limbs and exhaustion.

God is within her, she will not fall; God will help her at the break of day.

Caught up in my thoughts, I tripped over some branches and I threw my hands out in front of me in a failing attempt to brace my fall.
All of my body weight came crashing down on top of my arms and mud dove deep beneath my fingernails.
The air was thrust out of my lungs as I began anxiously coughing.

Maybe it was more of a metaphoric meaning.

A tired grunt escaped my lips, using my hands to push myself off of the ground. I almost made it to my knees before a biter took a firm grip on my ankle, its unusually pale skin a dark contrast to my own.

I twisted from being on my side to my back very quickly, instinctively wrestling to get free.

"GET OFF ME!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, my words raw as I felt them shatter in my throat. Hot tears fell from my cheeks and I kicked frantically until I felt my boot connect with the biters jaw, stunning it long enough for me to release myself from its grip.

I weakly scrambled to my feet.
This was not who I am. I'm not weak, not anymore. That's the absolute last thing I wanted to be.

I hated feeling like I had no control over anything. It wasn't that I was aggravated for not getting my way, but it was as if I lived in the eye of death every time I turned around, and could do nothing about it.

I did my best to block out the defeating thoughts about how weak I felt, and tried forcing myself to focus on getting out of this rain before it wasn't just rain.

Just push through, only a few more steps and you can rest..

I told myself, eagerly limping towards the barn.

My mud-covered hands traced along the wood of the barn door, looking for a way to get inside.

"C'mon.. c'mon.." I mumbled under my breath.

I pressed myself up against the door and pushed as hard as I physically could... and nothing.

It's stuck, of course it is.

"Oh, come on!" I shouted, slamming my palms against the drenched wood.

"Hello?! Please, help me.. Somebody! Anybody. If you're in there, just open the door!" I cried, though I know no one would answer. No one was here, remember? Just me and the trees.
Oh, and emotionless, flesh eating monsters.

I continued to bang my fists and shake the door, still it never budged beneath my desperate cries.

My frustration soon faded, exhaustion seeping into my movements as they slowed.

"Please, just open.." I said quietly.
I began to cry in defeat, the weight of everything I was pushing away, crashing down on me all at once.

The stress was getting to me more and more by the second, the rain was plundering everything around me and all I had for shelter.. was what little roof hung over the edge of the barn?

I pulled my hair tie loose and ran my hands through my wet locks.
I was running out of time.

All I could hear was Carl's voice running laps around my mind, it was like he was taunting me, trying to rub it in that he's gone.

--"Don't stress it, Bells. You'll get through it just fine just like every other test. It's not the end of the world."-- His voice seemed to echo all the way from that classroom, so long ago.

"This time, it is the end of the world. What now, huh? You promised you would be here when I needed you the most. You promised! But where are you? Gone. I need you, and you aren't here! How could you just up and leave me here to deal with this by myself?!" I screamed as tears flooded over the brim of my distressed eyes.

My back hit the barn door and I stood there, trying to not let my hurt turn into anger. My eyes darted from tree to tree, then to my feet that stood covered in mud.

My eyes trailed up the barn door's framing, silently searching with the last ounce of hope I had.
And then.. they landed on the outline of some kind of handle. My sad eyes turned to a look of disbelief and I instantly reached for it, my bandaged hand wrapping around the latch as I pulled to my left. My boots dug into the mud, and before I knew it, the barn door stood wide open.

I laughed in surprise, "A handle! Why didn't I think of that?" I said, a smile plastered on my lips.

I stepped inside, shutting the door and latching it from the harsh and bitter winds. The barn looked to be... empty? I didn't care, honestly. I was so tired of being in the rain.

The whole barn was very dimly lit and it was hard to tell if it was clear or not, which made me feel tense because killing didn't come easily to me. Even if they were already dead, it still pained me to take any life they had left.

I crouched down, taking off my backpack as I ruffled through my, now, wet belongings. Mostly everything of mine was soaked due to the rain, yet for some reason I didn't see my Bible.

Where's my Bible? I thought.

Please say I didn't leave it in Woodbury..

After taking everything out of my backpack, I found my Bible at the very bottom, but somehow... It was completely dry except a few drops of water on the cover.
I had a smile from ear to ear. I loved that despite my physical and mental storms, His goodness always prevails in every aspect.

In the middle of looking for my Bible, I found my flash light which is what I was looking for in the first place. Putting everything back in my bag, I slung the water out of my flash light, smacked it a few times, then it flickered on.

It was an old trick I learned from this new woman I met in Woodbury, her name was Andrea and we were kind of getting along, before I found out she was just like everyone else. She bought into all of the terrible things they did to people, and I think we all knew she agreed with whatever The Governor said because they were doing more than just talking.

I looked everywhere, there was only one walker and she was in the back, she didn't look to be any risk to me because she was stuck under something. So I just shut the door to the room she was in, and left her there.

It seemed insensitive to let her suffer, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't.
Besides, what did she do to me? Exactly. Nothing.

I cleared off a dry spot in the corner and set my backpack there. I was too tired to care that I was soaking wet and in an old barn.
It was shelter.

My head rested against the wooden wall behind me, I knew I wasn't done working yet, no matter how much I wished I was.

I felt as if I had been hit by a truck. Every inch of my body felt so sore and I had a splitting headache, but I just had to push through.

Why?

Because.

Not for me, not for fun and games, no.

For God.... And for him.

For Carl.

•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•♡•

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God Bless!!

-Author🏕