Love is Darkness

Chapter 8 London, England

That evening, Val was fed up with her darkthoughts and being stuck indoors so she headed outside. Lucas couldfind her if it was so important. She didn't go towards the Heath atthis time of night, since it was supposed to be a gay meeting pointand the last thing she needed was to stumble upon two men shaggingin the bushes.

The small streets leading to HampsteadVillage seemed like the safest choice. Inside the purple brickedmansions were people with families having dinner. Smoke came out ofthe chimneys tinging the cold air with the smell of fire. Normallife.

Sure she was looking in onnormal life from the outside, but so what. So what! Don't think about howquickly everything is going down the crapper and what you may nothave. Val didn't know if she wanted kids. In theory they were fine,sweet and little but the reality contained more snot andnaughtiness then she felt she could handle.

She tried to imagine having children and ahusband. An image of Jack laughing and happy came to her. No! Nomore would she think of Jack when she thought of the future. Jackdidn't want happiness. She thought about Ian instead. He had askedher to stay over for Christmas and be with his family. How sweetwas that?

Oh God, Ian. She had to cut him out of herlife. Being around her wasn't safe and she'd have to changeeverything.

Get rid of everyone.

Be alone again.

In danger again.

Her mind rebelled, looking foralternatives.

Could she confine Lucas in any way? Findsome way to make him let her live a normal life? No, because shehad nothing to bargain with. She was the pawn. Val kicked a pebbledown the street dispiritedly.

Part of her wondered, like a whisper in hermind, if maybe she was that interesting. That whisper of a voicewas like a devil in her, telling her that she could have Lucas inthe palm of her hand if she chose.

And that he knew things he wasn't tellingher. Nice deduction Captain Obvious.

Perhaps he was not nearly as self-containedas he pretended to be. It was the same voice that told her shewouldn't be having a normal life no matter how hard she tried orhow far she ran. It was probably the same little voice that addictsheard right before inhaling a monstrous line of coke.

She needed to ignore that voice.

Steps echoed hers, Lucas falling into stepbeside her. She kept walking, refusing to acknowledge him.

"Such turmoil." His wordswere silky, quiet and deep as shadows.

"You can't be the biggestof the big bad without being seriously evil." She waited, but hesaid nothing. "But now you are trying to convince me that youare...helping. Good."

"No. Not good. But neitheram I inherently evil. There is a field of gray between light anddark. I tell you most vampires are like sun down with hints oflight in a sky of black. They were people once, just a very longtime ago. There is a moral code to vampires, albeit nothing you mayappreciate. We do not make murderers into vampires, for example.There are rules."

Val stopped walking and turned into him,forcing herself close. He backed up a step, giving ground, but shefollowed. He seemed to stand a little straighter, and then her handwas resting on his chest. "Will you take them from me? Do I need togive this all up? If I do what you want, will you leave everyonealone?" The questions burst from her.

The agony of not knowing was too much, andwhile part of her was afraid her rash words could imperil everyonemore, her instincts and fear won, forcing the words out.

She felt his breath whisper over her hair."Who do you ask sanctuary for? What promise would you have from me?Am I to protect people from myself or others? Supernatural andnatural harm? Perhaps even protection from their own actions?" Helooked down at her, and she noticed his hands resting on hershoulders.