Anastasia

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Sometimes, I sit and wonder how my life would be if I never fell in love. Love ruined my life. I was young and naive, but most of all, desperate. I was so beyond desperate for love.

I thought I found it in Alek. We were so happy, I had everything. When he proposed it was the happiest moment of my life, but when the pregnancy test came back positive that took the top spot real quick. But my identity was discovered and that all changed. I lost my fiancé and my unborn child.
My broken soul fell into Nikolai's hands and he played with my emotions as he pleased.

I became a tool. I did whatever he asked of me in the hope of making him "love" me again even though I knew he was incapable of the feeling.

Nikolai's relationship with me is complicated, to say the least. It is by no means romantic in any way shape or form. The bastard doesn't even touch me. However, when we are alone, he does things that don't match up with his normal personality. The way he speaks and the way he holds himself is much more relaxed, he trusts me in a way. He knows that I won't betray him. That little voice still so desperate for love won't let me forget what I thought we had, and he knows that. And I hate it. I despise myself for it.

Whenever I think about joining my fiancé in the afterlife, I just can't do it. I've had the chance many times, but I never followed through and I don't have a clue as to why. I had nothing and no one to live for.

The answer became obvious to me almost five years ago on a cold winter night. Myself and a midwife were ordered into a room and lying in the bed was a heavily pregnant woman. She was in labor with Nikolai's child and it would be my job to help deliver it. Her name was Alexandra and it was obvious what the situation was. My hatred for Nikolai held no bounds, but I did as I was ordered.
I gave the beautiful baby girl to her mother who despite her position, had a look of pure content with her child in her arms.

The devil personified came in shortly after the birth and demanded for the child to be brought to him, I didn't want to do it, but I did as ordered. I was afraid and almost positive that Nikolai would purposely harm the newborn, but he didn't. When he handed, not shoved, the infant back to me, to say I was surprised would be an understatement. Myself and the midwife were later forced out of the room and that was the last I ever saw of Alexandra.

Later that night I was approached by Nikolai who cradled the child in his arms while pacing back in forth in his study, deep in thought inside that fucked up mind of his. I offered to take the baby, but he refused.

'What is her name?'

'Alina.'

I had heard Alexandra whisper it to her daughter back in the room.

'You will take my daughter to America with my sons. They have been informed of their role. No one else is to know of her existence. Now go.'

That's all he said to me before he handed me the girl and I was driven to the jet with his sons.

He was not himself that night and I knew exactly why. Though he may not understand the feeling, he knows people find content in their loved ones. Nikolai knew he was getting old and the idea went off in his mind that he could get the chance to experience it for once in his life. He got a solid total hour or so, then was done. It freaked him out.
I got a call soon after I left when he was clearly drunk, claiming he was simply curious to hold the child, only confirming my theory, then hung up.

Upon our arrival at the New York compound, I was immediately brought to a room deep in the basement by Alexei. The only thing inside was a small wooden crib.

'Leave the kid in there.'

'But sir, she's just-'

'Leave the kid Anastasia, or I'll shoot it.'

I did.

They would allow me to spend time with Alina for a few hours a day and guide her in early childhood development.
Everything was fine until they decided the best way to "save her" was to abuse her.

Every Ivanov is fucked in the head, I swear to god.

The day of the raid was a mess. Many members of the staff were caught in the crossfire and were killed. I snuck into the basement to try and get Alina out, but her door was open and she was nowhere to be found. I assumed one of her brothers must have taken her who were already long gone by then.

I ran and took the next flight back to Russia. It was there that I discovered that she was killed. I was with Nikolai giving a report when his son called to give him the news.

Nikolai simply responded as if it meant nothing to him.
I sobbed in secret that night.

Then we discovered she was still alive and was taken in by the Lombardis. Which meant that her new mother was the girl who looked up to me as a child.

Small world.

I hoped she would remain happy with them but soon enough, I was locked away with Alina.

I knew the Lombardis would come for her and this would be my last chance to make up for my wrongdoings in the past.
It was the least I could do for Bianca Anderson, now Lombardi.

I know exactly what Alexei and Dmitri are doing. They aren't just removing the Lombardis from her mind, they're "reprogramming" her all together.
They are trying to completely change her into an obedient child that relies on them for practically everything. It gives them a sense of power and control. On top of this, she gives them the love and affection they've been deprived of their entire lives, and they're obsessed with that.

I began telling Alina fake fairytales that would hopefully trigger memories of the Lombardis and combat what the Ivanovs are trying to do. It's definitely working and it's evident every time I tell her another a new story. She'll finish the sentence for me or ask a clarifying question.
The other day she even told me a young man named 'Sandy' played with her in a dream. I assume that to be Alessandro.

I just hope her family comes quickly because her time is running out. It's simply a matter of time before Alexei and Dmitri achieve their goal and I don't know how long my stories will last.









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A/N: I suggest rereading Anastasia's first chapter if you forget her story in the Ivanov kids' lives.

Respect my girl though she's had it rough.

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