Alina

I don't feel so good anymore. My whole body hurts and my legs feel like jelly whenever I walk. I just wanna stay in bed all day because I keep falling to the ground if I don't.
I already can't leave my room and now I can barely run, much less walk around it.

Every time that mean doctor comes to give me my "all better" shot, I just feel worse. To be honest, I don't actually think it's really to make me all better anymore.

Was I ever even sick in the first place?

I don't like it when my brothers get angry with me either. They grip me super tight to the point of bruising and when I'm a really bad girl, they hit me.

I deserve it after everything they've done for me.

My head hurts too and my brain is a whole different issue.
I see things. Odd things.

Mostly nightmares featuring my brothers. Each one is different, but they all take place in a dark, grey room. The outside.
They told me that when I was outside, bad people took me away from them. But in my nightmares, all I see are my brothers hurting me, not strangers.

Scenes of the smiling family have continued. They've become less frequent, but I still see them and get really happy. I can't see their faces anymore, but I know it's the same people from before.
There was this one time when I saw an old lady cooking as if she was showing me how to make her recipe. From her slightly wrinkled hands came a plate of delicious yellow shapes with a sauce—more plates of different types kept on appearing down a line until I woke up hungry.

"Can I have Nonna's pasta?" I asked not knowing what pasta was or who 'Nonna' was.

Anastasia told me with a teary-eyed smile that I'd get it very soon.

Last night, Anastasia told me another story about the royal family. It wasn't a happy one, but it was "important to the princess's journey."

"This is the story of how the little princess came to be with the king, queen, and the princes.
For many years, she was locked away in the tallest tower of a crumbling castle, guarded by an evil dragon and wizard. The wizard came and left as he chose, but the dragon always remained with the princess. They claimed to be her family and that they loved her dearly.
One day, the wizard became angry with his captive and cursed her with terrible pain and sadness. Little did he know that the five princes were on their way to stop him and slay his dragon.
When they showed up, the evil pair flew off leaving the sleeping princess alone, assuming the princes would kill her.
The princes searched the tower hoping to find anything to track the wizard. One of them came across a hidden door disguised as a bookshelf. He climbed the many spiraling stairs to the top where he found, lying on the cold stone floor the little princess.
They decided to take her back home to see if they could wake her up. The true love of a family the king, queen, and princes gave to the princess undid her curse and she became happy once more."

"Why would the wizard ever do such an awful evil thing to someone he loved?"

"Some people take advantage of loving souls. Love is a beautiful thing and just because someone says they love you doesn't mean it's true."

"What does love feel like?"

She hesitated and seemed as if she was lost in old memories from a better time.

"It felt wonderful," she whispered to no one.

That night I had my most interesting dream yet. I saw a little girl in the snow. She didn't look very good and I felt sad for her. But when I recognized my face I got super confused.

Was this what my brothers warned me about?

The next thing I knew, a big man dug me out of the snow and placed me against his chest. He wrapped his coat around me and took me to six other boys. I couldn't see their faces though, only their backs. I wished for my body to move so I could see who my heroes were, but I was stuck. As if sensing it, the man holding me turned around and I woke up with a name on my tongue...

"Sandy."

I hear Anastasia gasp and a soft smile grows on her face as she walks to the bed. Confused, I ask who he is.

"A good man," she replies.

She gently applies some cream to my cheek to help the result of Dimitri's slap.

"Anna?"

"Yes, darling?"

"Do you promise to not think I'm crazy?" I ask with my pinky already out.

"Promise," she says with a gentle smile as her bony finger intertwines with mine.

"Who's my real family? I know it's not Lexi and Dede."

"Oh really? How?" She says in a playful tone. My brothers listen to her voice so she has to pretend sometimes. My voice can't be picked up, I'm "too quiet."

"Love. You said love felt wonderful. The family in my dreams makes me feel like that. My brothers don't. I also think they were super mean to me when I was little and my dreams of them give me pain."

"A princess is always saved from her knight in shining armor."

"So I do have a family out there?"

She smiles and looks down at my jumping figure.

"Yes, princess."