𝐉𝐉 𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐘𝐧 𝐑𝐮𝐭𝐥𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐞

Chapter 3: friends with benefits

I run back to my room crying I hear a knock on my door. " Yn can I come in?" Kie,JJ,pope, and John b say opening the door " I guess but we are not talking about my cuts!'' I say wiping away my tears kiara and JJ sit next to me while johnny and pope are Infront of me. "Yn you know we all love you... Right?'' JJ says " yeah even though I just met you it feels like we've known each other for years." Kiara and pope says. " Yeah I know.." I say " I just have a question... Do you love me or rafe?" JJ says " I love... Well both. Y'all are both sweet and cute and well I just can't pick. I know I'm dumb for letting you both go but that's how it Is I guess?" I say crying quietly. " I love you yn just the way you are don't change for rafe because you know he won't change for you. I love you more than anything, cupcake. I'll kill for you. I'll die for you.You can pick him I don't care. Just telling you he'll won't be there." JJ says I walk out the room. And walk to rafes. I knock on the door. Rafes dad opens " Hey what do you want?" Ward says " oh sorry is Rafe here or something?" I say " yeah...RAFE SOMEONE'S HERE FOR YOU!" Ward says screaming. He walked down the stairs. " Hey beautiful." He says trying to kiss me I make sure he didn't " can we talk.. alone" I say as he follows me outside away from his house. " You wanted to see me?" He said putting his arms around me" I gotta let you go. I'm in love with someone else I'm sorry" I say crying " it's okay yn your In love with JJ I don't care. Tbh I never really cared it was a dare from another kook. Boo hoo you gonna cry. I never loved you. Aww poor yn got her heart broken..." He said " yeah rightttt who said I ever liked you. Did you really think I'd love a little daddy's boy?" I say lying about I never liked him
'' I was gonna call you a daddy's boy but... Oh wait he died. But your not a mommy's girl either she kicked you out she never loved you" he said
" What the actual fuck is wrong with you. Stop acting like a little bitch. You can't be a mommy's boy because your a fucking pussy!" I said walking away crying about what he said about my dad. He didn't die. Did he? Last time I saw him which was 14 years ago he was alive. I gotta ask John b I walk into the chateau. " Hey uh johnny can I talk to you." I said he walked out and he said " whatd you wanna talk about?" '' is dad... Dead?" I say a tear fell from my eye " uh well everybody thinks that but I still think he's alive and I'm gonna find him and make him proud!'' he said " how?" " I'm gonna find his gold.'' he said " okay ig I gotta talk to jj" I say running inside the chateau. I see him on the couch
" Hey mamas. I love you.'' he said I sat on his lap " hey j I love you too. I told rafe I didn't wanna see him anymore. I love you so much.." I say kissing him
" Ew JJ stop kissing my sister that's gross" John b says walking in the door " yn. I don't wanna be in a relationship. I don't want no titles. Can we be friends with benefits?" JJ says I get off his lap " Oh so you don't want me? Fine I'll just kms!" I say running to my room JJ follows me but when he was about to open my door I closed then locked it " YN, UNLOCK THIS GODDAMN DOOR YOU CANT HURT YOURSELF!'' JJ says yelling trying to get inside " The only thing hurting myself Is you." I say crying. Then I stop. I take off my phone case and get my pocket knife. I threw away my clear phone case my mom got me bc of my cutting trying to make me clean. I've been clean for atleast a day or two. JJ kept on calling so I out my phone on dnd. He kept on yelling, yelling, yelling, yelling. I finally sliced. So much blood came out. I wiped it away. I heard JJ talking to the other pouges but I didn't dare to listen. After all he was the one that was making my depression and anxiety go all over the place. But I love him. I put on a hoodie to hide my cuts on my arms and wrists. And I wipe off my makeup revealing my face that has bruises from my mom and I put on tv girl And fell asleep with it on. I suddenly got woken up by the sound of a small knock on my door " Go away" I say
" Yn I gotta talk to you. Please let me in but If you don't want me to come in I'll go but I don't feel comfortable outside can you come with me. John b and kiara are fighting" pope says
" just a second" I say putting on foundation to cover my face and a layer of mascara really fast. I unlock the door and went outside with Pope. Sarah's outside fighting with kiara.
" Why the fuck is this bitch here" I say sitting by pope on the sofa outside.
" Because John b brought her here" JJ says " why the fuck did you bring her here?'' I say " did you hear or even see the things she said to me? She was talking about killing me and shit!" I said " that was because I was mad yn god grow up!" Sarah says " The fuck? Who you do think you are?!? And just because your mad doesn't mean you can talk about killing me and my supposedly family when I only have my shitty mom and my brother you are trying to persuade him to let you play him like a stupid little game you are." I said she got up from sitting by John b and got in my face so I stood up we were face to face " God your breath stinks! Go get your fancy kook toothpaste and your hair is messed up god get a brush" I say JJ laughed
" Just because your dating my brother doesn't mean I like you." " Excuse you?" Sarah said " yeah. I can excuse you to the goddamn door!" I say pointing to it I clinched my fists kiara grabbed me knowing I was about to punch her. " Yn calm down I'll talk to her" kie said Sarah sat down " you know what I don't remember us taking a vote, this is our thing. a pouge thing" kie says looking at John b and sarah " I gotta say I'm just a tad uncomfortable with this." Pope says
" when are you not uncomfortable?" John b says " idk man I rode on jjs bike pretty comfortable" pope says
" it's true it's the most relaxed I've ever seen him" JJ adds "that's cute guys" John b says joking " you know we were all extremely comfortable before you brought her here" I say
" stop talking about me like I'm not here" Sarah says " then leave" I say " I told you.." Sarah said " told him what exactly? That your a liar?" Kiara says " no that your a shit talking bitch!" Sarah says " bitch did I hear that come out your mouth? That literally you. You can leave because if you don't me and kiara are leaving." I say " EVERYBODY SHUT UP!" John b says
" bitch no" I say mumbling to myself JJ laughs " Kie your my best friend.. and Sarah your my..." John b says " say it" Sarah adds " girlfriend" kiara looks at John b confused. " Oh she's your girlfriend now? What happened to using her for information get the map, cut her loose?" Kiara said " you said you were using me?" Sarah said sadly looking at John b " no" John b said " yeah I think I remember" "yes you did" " yeah you totally said it"
" you said those things" " Look love just feel in okay?" John b says " oh vomit" kiara says " I didn't expect it it just kinda- kinda happened" John says " im leaving come on kiara" I said. Me and kiara walk out. " The nerve of that bitch!" I said to kiara " let's walk to my house yn" kie says. " I can't believe John b would do that!" Kie adds " me neither and he's my brother!" I said as kiara knocks on her house door. It opens she hugs her parents named Mike and Anna. "Oh mom this is my friend, yn" kie says Mike and Anna shake my hand " oh kiara you are going to midsummers! I got a dress for you and yn" Anna says "what! You know that's a kook thing mom! I'm a pouge. Is it a dress?" Kie says to Anna " Yes and yn you are wearing one too" Anna says. My heart dropped bc of my cuts. Maybe I can out concealer on it or something?
" Okay yn if you wear a dress I'll wear a dress" kiara says looking at me "fine... I guess I'll do it for you and your mom" I say Anna hugs me and hands us the dresses and high heels
" Really high heels?" I say " yes now go get changed!" Anna says pushing us to the room the dress you have is a pink silk like Kiara's but hers is purple and y'all have white heels. You get changed and put makeup on your face and cuts. It burned but you didn't care. You come out the bathroom. "Yn you look gorgeous!" Kie says hugging me " so do you!!!" I say " I'm taking these heels of and replacing them with my white converses." I say taking off my heels and replacing them with my sneakers" Let's go yn" kiara says. We walk outside her door Anna didn't know I changed my heels until after midsummers. " So kie what is midsummers exactly?" I say walking down her stairs outside her house " it's hosted by a group of kooks who throw a party every year they call it midsummers so yeah it's pretty much a nightmare. It's hosted by the Camerons." Kie said " omg I hate the Camerons well except rafe . Are rafe and Sarah the only children?" I say " yeah they are ward is there dad but rose is their step mother." Kie adds " I want parents! I mean I was my mother's child but she wasn't really my mom. Yk?" I say a tear running down my face I wiped it away. Tonight's gonna be good I can't be ruining it. " Are you mad at JJ?" Kie says as we arrive.
"Yeah I don't understand how he did that friends with benefits thing like he said he loved me 10 minutes before. I just don't understand anything anymore" I say " this is nice. I like the beach by it. I love beaches they are so lovey!" I add. JJ walks up to Sarah.
" I guess I'm just a game to him. See he talks to every girl except me!" I say.
" Omg he's coming" I add " you look so lovely it's so tempting and I can't help it. I forgot how to breathe" JJ says breathing on my neck. " Oh I can feel so breathing you gave me a venomous heart I'm losing my own sanity. Get away JJ." I say pushing him back " oh your still not mad at me are you?" JJ says rafe comes up to us and pushes JJ back away " she said get away!" Rafe says. Am I crazy or am I dreaming? I think I'm more Inlove then ever. " Thanks rafe." I say he smirks at me before walking away. 
" Yn.. you like him don't you?'' kie says " yeah I feel like he gives me purpose to live" I say