Closure

Chapter 2: Jake Garcia

Original Artwork by Victoria Ashley

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Everything starts somewhere. For Jake and I, it started with a jelly sandwich. First time I officially met Jake Garcia was when he asked me for a bite of my jelly sandwich during outside recess in grade 3. He was in my class and I saw him everyday; he didn't seem to see me though. To be fair, he was a bit busy getting his face plastered into the mud while trying to catch the ball coming his way. A dishevelled, messy and disgusting boy is what he was, constantly running and chasing the ball like a dog.

But Jenny was interested in him, somehow.

I didn't really get it until later, what with his hair flying in all directions and green-brown-stained clothes.

Jenny was prettier.

She was the type of kid where her mother would post a picture of her doing something completely normal on Facebook, and all the other moms would come and gush about what a pretty girl she is.

Yeah. Even my mom.

Me and Jenny would always eat our lunches together, in the same place. On the border of the giant field and the black concrete, where Jenny could watch Jake. Where I could watch Jenny watching Jake.

Sometimes, Jenny would bring her friends over. Abigail and the other girl, and I would feel unwelcome. That's when I played with my other friends.

At school I sometimes hung out with the special needs kids at recess. Those guys were chaotically awesome, and seriously misunderstood. Especially the deaf girl, Brianna. I learned a bit of sign language from her and she taught me swear words in secret, which basically gave me the power to tell everyone to fuck off without them knowing.

As an eight-year-old, it was peak humour.

When I hung out with Brianna, it was sometimes kind of hard to show her what I meant, because I would start to talk and then realise Brianna couldn't hear. I would feel guilty, but Brianna didn't mind. We would draw a lot together, and that's how we got to know each other better. She really liked dragons. I don't think she'll ever know how loud dragons are.

There came a time where I spent more time with Brianna than I did with Jenny. Jenny noticed. Jenny especially noticed our drawings. Walking home one day, she took the drawing from my hand and hid it somewhere behind her. She then hugged me. I was very confused, I wanted my drawing back, but I had forgotten the drawing almost immediately, and I had never found it since.

The next week Jenny held my hand all the time. We had sleepovers almost everyday. One at her house, one at mine. She hugged me hello and goodbye. Every single day. The weekend too. All day every day with Jenny. I had forgotten about Brianna. It was just me and Jenny at the border of the field and the concrete once more. Watching Jake once more.

Then Abigail showed up, and I was going to leave, but Jenny held my hand. How could I ever let go of Jenny's hand? It was warm, and made me feel warm. I could never let go of Jenny's hand. I don't want the warmth to go away.

Eventually, one day, Jake came over to talk to us, to brag about his winnings. He did so to everyone in sight. His eyes were on Jenny but mine were on him. I just wanted to know, what did Jenny see in him? We all shared lunch on the border that day. That was the first time I had met Jake, but not the first time I had interacted with him.

It was one of the days Jenny was sick. Brianna's class was on a trip. And I definitely was not going to interact with Abigail and the other girl. So there I was, sitting by myself on that border, about to eat my carefully crafted feast (a jelly sandwich).