Searching for Sweetness

Chapter Six - Forever Isn't Long Enough

I had always been a stubborn soul. I didn't like accepting change. So you know those moments when you just absolutely lose it? Well, I had one of those in late March. After the incident with Hayden, which ended up on every local news station, my parents sent me to see a therapist. I had sessions every Tuesday, and Adam always insisted on accompanying me. I didn't mind. If he wasn't so adamant about it, I'd have requested his presence myself.

        Dr. Zarros, my therapist, was a very nice lady. I liked talking to her, even if it didn't really help my mental state. I liked it much better when Adam was my voice of reason. He understood me in a way no stranger ever could.

        I was doing better, though, without the help of Dr. Zarros. I had been paying attention in class again, which was a relief to pretty much anyone that cared about me. I was once again one of the top five students with the highest general averages. My teachers were grateful that I didn't have to be moved to a lower track. Quite frankly, I was grateful that I didn't need to be moved down to lower track. I was mortified when I found out it had become a concern.

        But that's not what I what I was getting at. This is what I was getting at:

        Every time I thought of Paige, I was instructed to tell my therapist. So if it wasn't Tuesday, we'd have over-the-phone sessions. But today was a Tuesday, and I was getting ready to head down to the clinic when my fallout began.

        It started out okay, because it was a pretty good day at school. I got a few tests back, all with more or less satisfactory grades. It was enough to keep me on the honor roll, so I was pleased.

        But things could progress rather quickly. And this situation was no exception.

        Adam always drove me home on Tuesdays so that he could take me to therapy. We usually sat at my kitchen table doing homework when my mom would make us eat something before we left. Like I said, it was normal at that point. I wasn't marginally upset about anything today, which let everyone enjoy the peace while it lasted. As it turned out, it didn't last much longer after that.

        We were heading out the door, my arm outstretched to reach for my coat when Adam opened my front door. I paused, staring at the person on the porch of my house. He blinked at me with startlingly blue eyes. More than anything, he looked enraged.

        "Haven't you heard?" Hayden Clarke practically bellowed as he stormed into my house. My arm fell limply to my side.

        "What are you doing here?" I said blankly. I hadn't seen Hayden since the night where I collapsed. "Why are you here?" I demanded, my hands shaking. He looked incredulous.

        "Why am I here?" he repeated, his temper flaring with a hot flash in his eyes. He faltered, staring at my blank expression. Instead of answering me he turned to Adam. "She doesn't know?" he said, calmed down at least for the time being.

        "Hayden," Adam warned, an edge to his voice. "Don't."

        "Like hell I won't!" he snapped, eyes narrowing. Hayden looked back at me, his expression softening slightly. "You know something, Clare? You were right. I made an asshole move. I can't forget Paige Turner, and maybe that's the problem, but God, I can't possibly stop loving her even after all this time. So I let myself listen to your words. I decided to give a damn again, because she wouldn't give up on me. I wasn't sure what would be more painful: knowing she wasn't coming back or hoping that she would. Neither of them are promising." He paused, mouth set in a grim line. "I went down to the police station this morning." He glanced at my disapproving look. "Oh, don't act so surprised. I've been known to skip school." He looked away and continued before I could interrupt. "Anyway, when I asked for the information on the case of Paige Turner, they handed it over like it was old news. I was confused at first, because police officers don't just hand over files." Our eyes met, and somehow I was dreading his next words. "They closed her case two months ago. They stopped looking after her eighteenth birthday. I couldn't believe it. I mean, why did they have the right to forget her so easily? Why was it so difficult for me?