Shoutout to Tumblr for deciding this is the fic I was gonna write
"YOU'RE WHAT????" Taylor screams. Hermie winces, covering his ears, and looking at Taylor, very obviously annoyed.
"I'm moving in with Jodie, why is that such a shock?" Hermie asks, raising his eyebrows at the teens staring at him wide-eyed.
"Because last time we checked you were trying to kill him?" Scary speaks up, a surprising amount of non-negative emotion in her voice.
"Yeah, well, stuff happened in hell. I'm moving in, and we might also kill my adoptive parents," He mutters the last bit, luckily no one picks it up.
"Wh- Hermie this is a big thing! I- when are you gonna move?" Normal asks, clearly incredibly nervous.
Hermie shrugs "I've packed. Nicholas said he'd pick me up. Now I'm just waiting" he explains, not really caring for the conversation much.
"You talked to my dad without me?" Taylor says, placing a hand over his chest offendedly.
"I talked to my half-brother without you, yes" Hermie nods, looking at Taylor annoyed.
Taylor frowns "Well, tell him to visit me more, I miss him and if you get to spend time with him so do I," Taylor says, trying to be threatening. Sadly, it's hard to sound threatening when your braces give you a heavy lisp.
"I'll pass along the message," Hermie says, placing a hand on Taylor's head, patting him. Taylor does not approve.
"So, are you still going to visit? I mean, with Dood gone you don't really have a reason to visit us," Normal mutters, looking down disappointedly.
Hermie sighs "First off, they're in the... you know what dimension, not gone, I will be visiting them. Plus, I still have plays that I want to be in, so I have no choice but to come up here," He says, trying to sound like he doesn't care. Normal gets the message. He nods
"Well, I hope you have fun with your dad! Tell him I said hi?" Normal asks, unsure how to deal with this.
Hermie nods "I'll tell him. Lincoln, Scary, goodbye too, I guess," He says, he's never been close with either of them so he doesn't care much about saying goodbye properly. Scary just waves him off.
Lincoln, however, actually says something "Bye Hermie, uhm, have fun in hell, that sounds like an insult, I'm sorry" he immediately apologizes. Hermie nods, getting what he means
"I'll see you later, goodbye," They say with a final wave before they turn around to go back to his current house, Nick has to come soon, right?
...
Two days later Hermie is laying sprawled out in bed, how long could Nick take? They really don't want to, but they have no other choice, they'll have to call him. They hold their hand up to their cheek, making the phone gesture, they feel their hand vibrate for a few seconds.
"Hello, Nick Foster, at your service, do you need a powerful demon to summon or-" Nick begins before Hermie cuts him off.
"It's been a week since you told me you'd pick me up and you're still not here," They complain, sounding clearly upset. They're met with silence for a few seconds
"I did say that, huh? I'll come, right now" Nick says before hanging up.
Not even a second later a portal rips open into their room and out comes a very apologetic-looking Nickolas Foster.
"Heyyyy, Herm, how ya doin'?" He says, trying to act casual.
"Great, thanks for checking," Hermie answers, a painful amount of sarcasm in his voice.
"You're taking your clothes? You know Jodad is going to insist on getting clothes made for you, right? You do not need these," Nick comments, picking up the bags anyway.
Hermie shrugs, grabbing the remaining bag. "I guess I don't know what to expect. I mean, you know what he was like the last time I saw him, right?" They raise an eyebrow at Nick. They step through the portal and are met with the familiar warmth of hell and the familiar nausea that comes with portals, despite the fact that they are normally completely immune to nausea.
"Yeah, he was an emotionless mess, and now he's an emotional mess, he will cry, and his tears are lava so, look out for that" Nick explains with a meek smile.
Hermie sighs "I think I'll live," they say, though they don't believe it.
"C'mon, I was nice and kept this a surprise. Though, if someone asks why I killed all those people, it's your fault," Nick says as he begins marching off in a direction, seemingly at random. Though, he probably knows the way. Hermie sighs, following Nicholas, too tired to argue. They have more blood on their hands now, woo.
