The HUNT

The Hunt

~~~

Trucks were his favorite thang. Every Sunday, before the week began, he would drive his customized red truck out to the woods and meet up with his long time friend Dick. Pulling up to the gravel parking lot in front of the forest he spotted Dick, who was waving excitedly at James's truck.

"James RuPaul! My papi chulo! How I've missed you~" He cried flamboyantly. "How is your cazzo lungo?"

James sighed and said "You know I don't know italian Dickie boy."

"Ti succhierei come una birra fresca." Dick said, licking his lips. "I'm just hungry."

"Well you can have all the meat once we are done hunting."

"Oooh I will~" Said Dick. "Anyways, I brought a friend with me. He is quite the hunter, in fact that is his name."

Dick gestured behind him and out stepped Hunter. Hunter was quite majestic, his short 2016 Justin Bieber hair rustled in the wind.

"Are you wearing a fucking cardigan to hunt?" Asked James.

"It matters not what I wear, but what I serve."

James chuckled and said "I'll have to see it to believe it" he smirked. 😏

Hunter smiled and clapped James on the back in a manly hetero way. "You're on!"

As the three entered the woods and walked to the deer stand James suddenly turned around and said "Alright alpha males, let the hunt begin."

The two men behind him laughed and said "Sure. Let's have a mandate"

"A mandate is not what it sounds like, two men are not going on a date , Although that sounds fun." James said. What a smart guy.

"I prefer a Man Date. The true definition is a man forcing someone on a date. Like a real alpha male." Hunter said, wrapping his cardigan around himself as a breeze ruffled his hair. He still smelled faintly of a pumpkin spice latte from starbucks.

The Three alphas walk farther into the woods. Setting up their deer hunting stuff. So manly and hetero. Suddenly out of nowhere a body tumbled into view in front of them.

"Geoff Dandy?" Exclaimed Dick. "Humpty Dumpty? Did you fall off the wall?"

"I heard you were taking some friends to hunt, and I decided to join in."

"Fuck off Phat Heisenberg. I know about you and your need to call all little girls 'little bear' . It's very disturbing."

Geoff looks down "But can I still hunt with you?"

James looks down at him. "Fine but you have to scout in front of us."

"Gladley, I scout for new prey all the time."

Geoff runs in front of the gaggle of guys, ecstatic that he could join. Geoff was so happy that he waddled at a much faster pace than anyone had ever seen before.

Hunter and James watched as Geoff galloped across the forest floor, scaring all the prey away.

"So James... How long have you been hunting?" Hunter asked.

"Since 2012. I usually hunt with my three hunting bulldogs."

Hunter let out a laugh. "I've been hunting since 2015. What are your dog's names?"

James grinned, as he always loved to talk about his dogs. "Their names are Axel, Maverick, and Maximus." Hunter nodded.

"What manly names. They must have been chosen at the Healthy Masculinity Convention."