Kinky Confession || Minjoon

Kinky Confession

When I'm posting this it's lit January but like oh well... I did originally publish it on time but on ao3. Anyway -- enjoy :)

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Jimin's bedroom was at its most cosy at Christmas, and it was that time of year again, where all his decorations were up beautifully. Every year, Namjoon saw the progression of Christmas decorations, and watched him improve overall at decorating his lovely room. His double bed had red and green bedding, his walls had tinsel and lights. He had a mini Christmas tree on his desk, and a medium sized one in the corner of his room. On his pin board were photos of him and Jimin from every Christmas they'd spent together before. The lights were orange and dimmed, giving everything all a much more cosy feel. The television was playing the DVD option screen for Nativity, which they watched every year without fail. It had become their Christmas tradition.

Namjoon muted the television, and in came the sound of Jimin's shower running, the noise of it changing as Jimin moved under the water. That was all he could hear other than the occasional Carol singer group passing by outside. The scent of Jimin's lavender febreeze filled his nose, making the entire room smell nice. He took another swig of his wine, and set it down on Jimin's white night stand, telling himself that a glass and a half was plenty for now. He sat up on the softness of his mattress, and looked around the room.

Right ahead of him was Jimin's long, mahogany chest of drawers with his television on top of it. Its large screen looked much smaller than it really was due to the amount of floor space between the large bed and the wall. His eyes moved forward to the line up of teddy bears lined up against the footboard of Jimin's bed, and he smiled at them; couldn't help it. A good few of them Namjoon had gotten for him. All of the ones he'd gotten Jimin were there, making him feel warm inside. He stood up from the bed, on the side nearest the bathroom and the door out into the hallway. He had a little book shelf on the opposite side of the bed, and Namjoon walked around to it. It was full to the brim with books, with a few plants on the top, some real and some fake.

One book stuck out more than the rest, and Namjoon slipped it out. It looked like a small notebook, which was weird, because Jimin had his notebooks all on his desk. He crouched down on the floor in front of the book shelf, opened it up to where the ribbon tab was, and started reading.

It feels so awful to think of my best friend in the way that I do. I wonder what he would think if he knew the dirty things I thought of him. I'm so sorry, Namjoon. I'm sorry for the things that pass through my brain when we're near. I wouldn't even be surprised if you knew, with how often I hold a pillow over my lap -

Namjoon paused, and looked up at the bathroom door. The water was still flowing behind it. He continued.

The thoughts sometimes get so overwhelming that I just have to get them down on paper so I can stop thinking about them. It feels so weird but I'm seeing him tomorrow so I feel like I need to get it all out now, so that I don't feel so intensely about it. They never go away, and it's weird because I enjoy them. I can't imagine actually telling him that I like him as anything more than a friend, even if I passed it off as an only friends with benefits scenario. I feel for him too deeply to put myself through that. It's either all or nothing with him.

He's my best friend, yet every time I look at him, I think of his hand print on my ass and his cock in my mouth.

Just as he read the sentence, the water stopped. His head whipped towards the door. Namjoon scurried to put the book back clumsily on the shelf. Heart racing, he laid back down where he had been before, and held his wine glass to appear more natural. As if the alcohol hadn't made his mind hazy enough, now was his thumping heart and the millions of thoughts per second. He stared at the television screen, waiting nervously for Jimin to come out of the bathroom. He was glad that he needed to shower next; he'd at least get some thinking time.