Lander one shots? TMF

New parents pt 2💕🤍

"Lukeeeeee! She won't stop crying! Hurry up!" Zander said over the phone, gently rocking Ivy who just wouldn't stop crying.

"I know I'm trying-! I don't know where to find itttt!" Luke groaned.

"I swear to god we bought formula! Where the fuck did it go!?"

"I don't know-! Maybe she ate it..."

"Shut the fuck up Luke."

"Right right-! ..I found the formula-!...Which one do we get her..."

"Which one!? What do you mean which one!?"

"I DONT KNOW THERES MULTIPLE ZANDER."

"THERES MULTIPLE!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? FUCK IT JUST GET THEM ALL."

"ALL OF THEM? THERES LIKE 40 DIFFERENT BRANDS!?"

"ALL OF THEM."

"I MEAN OK...I'm going to hang up, I'm getting weird looks honey."

"OK JUST FUCKING HURRY UP PLEASE-!"

And Luke hung up.

Zander sighed as he continued to rock Ivy. "Don't worry honey-! Dad will be back soon with your food-.. oh my fucking good god we're so unprepared."

**

After a while, Luke finally made it back, rushing into the house.

"Oh thank fuck you're back-!"

"Stop saying fuck! That's gonna end up being her first word Zander!"

"WE'LL CROSS THAT BRIDGE WHEN IT COMES TO IT."

"..how do we work baby formula..?"

"..."

"..."

"We really should've taken those parental classes."

"Don't worry honey! I can sign you up for a baby and me class 🥰"

"Shut the fuck up Luke, you know that's not what I meant. And frankly you can go throw yourself on a railway track for even saying that."

Luke just laughed as he kissed his head. "I love you too sweetieeee!"

"Ok so.. It says to add water to powder in the bot-... WHERES THE BOTTLE!?"

"WHAT-? WE HAD IT LAST NIGHT! IVY STOP EATING YOUR SHIT!"

"LUKE I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD- SHE DID NOT EAT AN ENTIRE FUCKING BABY BOTTLE. RIGHT NOW SHE ONLY EATS MY HAIR."

"THEN WHERE THE FUCK IS EVERYTHING GOING?"

"I DONT HAVE A FUCKING CLUE." Zander groaned.

"Well we'll just have to make do.."

"LUKE PUT THAT DOWN. SHE IS 5 DAYS OLD, SHE CANNOT DRINK OUT OF A GLASS."

"First time for everything!"

"Yeah? And todays not going to be her first time for drinking out a fucking glass."

"Uhhh.. oh! I think I put it in the dishwasher!"

"LUKE-!"

"What?"

"IT'LL MELT!?"

"..REALLY? FUCKKKKKK!"

"Stop saying fuck LUKE it'll be her first word." Zander rolled his eyes.

Luke just laughed as he kissed Zanders nose.

"Welll! I'll be out again to buy a bottle.. have fun with the screaming baby..!"

"Please.. for the sake of my mentality, be back soon."