Because Of You

Chapter 49

Carmen's boots created an echo through the empty hallways of the scouts base. All the higher ups were still at the coronation, while the recruits and cadets were busy training. Making use of the emptiness of the base, the woman carried all her clothes and possessions towards Levi's office - he had offered to house her after all. It was an opportunity that she couldn't turn down.

Balancing one of her capes onto her shoulders, Carmen knocked on Levi's door, before entering the office.  He looked shocked to see her after she'd been in such a hurry to leave him earlier, but he was happy nonetheless. At first, she felt awkward, just stood in his office carrying all of her clothes while he stared at her blankly, but she eventually regained her voice and asked him.

"You told me this morning to bring my stuff." She elaborated, causing the Captain to get out of his seat and lead her towards a set of drawers.

"Those two are mine, but you're free to have the others." He informed, taking her cloak and boots from her. "There's a wardrobe over by the bed if you have anything you'd like to put in there." He added on.

After putting her folded clothes away, Carmen put her shirts and minimal amount of formal clothing into the wardrobe. She couldn't help but notice all the suits that Levi had, for a man who was rarely seen out of his uniform, he sure knew how to dress.

Meanwhile the only formal clothing Carmen had was a gift from Petra after she'd saved her a few years back. It was a dark green dress with long sleeves and embroidery on the edge, it was a shame she'd never had the chance to wear anything like that.

"You own a lot of suits." Carmen commented while Levi hummed.

"I used to be poor, so as soon as I could, I spent some of the money I owned. Guess I wanted to feel rich for once." He replied casually. "Tea?" He offered, Carmen nodded as she closed the wardrobe door. Diving into her bag, she pulled out the framed drawing of her old squad and placed it on the bedside table, she was sure Levi would appreciate it as much as she did.

Wandering around the office, Carmen finally settled beside the window, observing the new recruits and their training through the glass. Levi was sat behind her at his desk, turning his chair so he was facing her. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked her, knowing that if she said no, then he'd instantly drop the topic. He had to be careful with her, if she didn't want to talk then that was it, she didn't have to.

"Lord Becket?" She questioned him, Levi nodded, prompting her to continue. "I killed the stable boy that his daughter was in love with. Becket wanted to marry her off to another rich old man, so he made sure his daughter couldn't run away with her forbidden love." She revealed to him, not bothering looking in his direction. In all honesty, she was too ashamed to. "It was one of my last missions before joining the cadet corps."

"You handled it well, back at in the palace." Levi complimented, knowing how difficult it must have been for her. "Can't believe that bastard even had the nerve." He scoffed, turning back to his paperwork.

"You'd be surprised." Carmen added, recalling all of the people she'd met through her duty as a doll. "People like him think they're untouchable, in some ways - they are. I'm sorry about what he said, by the way. A snob like him, I bet his head wouldn't fit underground."

Carmen swore she heard a light chuckle from Levi before he hid it by sipping his tea. "I'm guessing Hange was acting weird again." He changed the subject as he remembered the way they kept winking at him and hinting at things he didn't know were true or not. However, he had to admit, he was curious about their conversation. They'd made it clear that both of them were taking about him, but never elaborated on the topic.

On the other hand, that was the last thing Carmen wanted to talk about. Hange had promised not to say anything, but clearly, she placed her trust in the wrong person. "You know Hange, they're random." She tried to divert their conversation, which Levi definitely picked up on. "Anyway, what're you working on?"

The woman leaned over his shoulder and rested her palm on his desk. Levi's breath hitched when he felt her so close to him, he could feel her stray hairs on his skin, hear her steady breathes. He was certain that she could probably pick up on his uneven ones, she was observant after all.

It wasn't strange for him to be so close to her - it happened every night and when they fought - but this time was different. Carmen had been the one to initiate the closeness, and it had been done so casually. There wasn't a hidden meaning or a drastic purpose for her nonchalance, she simply did it because she wanted to.

Clearing his throat, Levi quickly composed himself. "The new recruits need to be trained." He explained. "Some of them were MP's for a few years and apparently they've lost all skill. Their physical forms are in a weak state." He picked up a piece of paper, which highlighted one of the new recruits. "This is just one of many."

Carmen leaned closer and read from the report. Levi wasn't lying when he said they were weak. Someone had ran 3 miles in the span of 40 minutes, had skipped 2 training sessions, flunked hand-to-hand combat, and could barely balance with their ODM gear. She almost felt sorry for them.

"Some of them will need to go through basic training all over again." Levi said, lowering the paper. "And, lately, we've been losing too many experienced scouts. So, there aren't loads of options as to who trains them."

The assassin nodded her head as she stopped leaning over Levi's shoulder and instead moved around him to sit opposite him at his desk. "That's why Mikasa and Sasha were so drained - you've been training them." The woman gathered, Levi only sighed in response.

"I don't have enough time to be patient with them." He tried to reason. His workload was immense, he had to work on the formation, observe the new recruits and give them positions under squad leaders, assign chores to scouts, and then train them too. It was all too much for him.

"Then..." Carmen considered what she was about to say. The first time she'd attempted training someone, she lost her temper and ended up fighting with Mikasa rather than Eren. Even the word 'training' brought back gruesome memories. However, she figured, if it was for Levi then she could do it. "I can run their training sessions."

Levi stopped writing and looked at her sceptically. Last he checked, she hated training. But as he looked into her sincere gaze, he realised how genuine she was being. "You're supposed to be resting, you promised you would." He shut down, making the assassin roll her eyes at him.

"I've rested for a full week, I don't think I can stand it any longer." She protested. "Look, if anyone's suited to train them, it's me. I'm the strongest, and one of the most experienced people left. So just let me do this." She persisted.

It took a moment for Levi to eventually nod his head. "Fine." He gave in. "But if it's too much for you, then you'll tell me."

"I will." Carmen agreed, but she doubted she would. If anything, she was just grateful to finally be helping Levi. He'd done so much for her, it was only reasonable for her to want to return the favour. Plus, she needed something to keep her busy. "Have you got the rest of their files?" She wondered, in return, Levi handed her a stack of papers.

"What's your plan?" He questioned as the woman grabbed a spare quill and began writing some notes.

"I'm going to find their common weaknesses and work on those, then I'll set up a routine." She informed him.

Upon realising how quick she was to get to work, Levi suddenly realised one of the reasons behind her attitude. He assumed she needed a distraction, especially after the coronation events. The break he'd ordered her to have was eating away at her, forcing her to reminisce on events she dreaded.

But it wasn't ideal, she was avoiding her problems rather than facing them head on. What would happen after training the recruits? All those bottled up emotions would overflow. He didn't want that for her.

"Don't overwork yourself." He warned. "You need to have a moment to yourself every now and again."

"Don't be so worried." Carmen tried to reassure. "It'll make me feel better if I'm able to help these recruits at all. Who knows, maybe they encounter a titan and remember my advice?" It was best to think she had a chance at helping people, she just hoped she could do it well.