Heart on Fire | Noah Sebastian

Chapter 22

 *Belle's POV*

Today was D-Day. Well, I should day C-day, Court Day. The day was finally here, the day I've been rehearsing for for months. The day that reinvented my trauma and caused me to have two weeks off work to recover from a breakdown. I've given evidence in court before but today was different. This day meant more than any other case I've been in before. My friends in forensics helped me rehearse my evidence and Toby and I coordinated our responses, although I'll be surprised if they call Toby, he's more just a backup witness. My statements should be sufficient.

I've spent any moment I can mentally preparing for this day although work has kept me reasonably occupied the last two days between a house catching alight because the halloween decorations they hung up had faulty wiring and a laundromat nearly burning to a crisp because rodents chewed the main power board and caused a short. There were a handful of small rescue jobs and false calls scattered in there as well. I've hardly had any time to think about Noah... I've thought about calling him, but I decided against it. I think it's best if he stays away.

I put on my best 'no makeup' makeup look to cover my grey eyes and tired lines and curled my hair. I tied my hair into a low bun and left my bangs to hang delicately beside my face. I ironed my white collared shirt and black dress pants and applied my epaulettes and name badge. I shined my dress shoes, buttoned my blazer and stood in the mirror in my office. I looked myself up and down. I haven't worn this uniform since Daniel's funeral. A uniform I was once so proud to wear now haunts me every day, and I'll have to wear it again later this week. That was easily one of the hardest funerals I've ever attended. I felt a wave of emotion rise within my body but I drew in a deep breath and blinked away the tears so that my makeup would stay intact. I cannot show any emotion today, just be neutral.

I walked out of the bathroom and into the kitchen/recreation area and was greeted by Toby, Eric and my other colleagues who all came out to support us. Many of them don't know why I cried that day, or why I cried at his funeral, only Toby knows. And I intend to keep it that way. As far as everyone is concerned, it was just a bad call, that 'some jobs just get to you'. Calls that involve children are always the worst kinds of calls. Toby greeted me first and offered to go buy us coffee next door before we departed, and Eric greeted me second, telling me there is a bottle of Fireball "not hidden in my locker" for when I return. Man, I love these boys.

Toby and I waved them all goodbye and walked down to the cafe in our nice clean uniforms. I hate to admit it, but Toby has always looked so god damn attractive in his white uniform. The collared shirt with black dress pants, his hair parted on the side and slicked over and his beard trimmed nicely, it all just gets to me, but I won't let him know that. We entered the cafe and stood in line and immediately all the memories flooded my vision.

I spent the whole morning trying to force back tears but I failed. I'd spent the last week crying non stop and was showing no signs of slowing down. I'd been unable to stop weeping since we returned from the call. The boys had finished polishing the trucks and were applying the final coat of tire shine when Toby dragged me out from my office after coaching me through what seemed to be a panic attack. I was a wreck, totally inconsolable. I was fucking ridiculous, but Toby eventually helped me to stop crying for a while. They all looked stunning in their uniforms, I was so proud. Once it was time to go, the boys drove the trucks down to the cafe and we stopped in for coffee given my lack of sleep over the past few days, although they had to practically carry me in. My body was so drained I could barely walk.

We stood in line and the boys stood behind me, ready to catch me at any point. Fuck me Belle, you're expected to become a Captain soon. Get yourself together. We ordered coffee and waited. I focused on nothing else other than the smell of coffee and my breathing, I do not need to be breaking down in public in my uniform.