Author's REAL struggles

I finished my first book at the end of 2013. It was only halfway done when it became publicly available on the Kindle bookstore. I sold the first copy three months after its publication. The thing was, the initial book was filled with grammar mistakes, pushing the limits of weirdness, and so many spelling errors that it shouldn't have seen the light of day!

I was so insecure, wanted so much to tell the story, and needed so much help in proofreading, guidance, and marketing. But truth be told, only I believed in my dream. Literally dreams, as the science fiction was a draft created through dreams about aliens.After the third sold copy, a Kindle editor contacted me and most humbly asked me to correct the book or it would be unpublished. 

This was in 2014. That book? That same book has probably been updated a hundred times since then! Still, I haven't achieved the typical English-language flow present in my texts as much as I would have wished.None of this stopped me. It was kind of cool to have published a book until it wasn't. One day I realized that I didn't want to read my books myself. The writing had become a desperate task to earn money, and that didn't happen. 

So, without a penny in my pocket, I set out to improve my writing skills, and I am still improving in every way I can and every day. Not only should the reader get value for their spent dollar, but I should also give myself the chance to feel proud!When my writing skills improved, so did my sales. Still, the money coming in was nothing like a salary, merely coffee dimes. I needed to advertise but had no money to spend, and my personal life was collected in a suitcase. Just me, myself, and my suitcase, and my computer. 

But how to advertise successfully without a penny in my pocket? Every online author talked about "cheap advertising, the need for professional proofreaders and contacts," solutions for needs to which I had no access. 

I began to create blogs, free websites, YouTube channels, Facebook, Instagram, Reddit, and many more, but what to write, how to identify myself when I was nothing? I had no money, I had no earlier profession that I could lean against like "former politician now becomes a best-selling author!" 

No journalists lined up outside my door, and on top of this, I had an angry author colleague who wanted to steal the title of my first work, "for it fitted better on his book"! From nowhere came bad, fake reviews that pulled the book down as I struggled to keep it afloat.

I wouldn't have been concerned if the bad reviews were about my poor writing skills. Unfortunately, this fact was true, but coordinated attacks from another publisher? That scared me. While this person could afford to buy negative reviews, I couldn't afford the smallest ad on Google. At a critical moment, my book even got unpublished for copyright infringement, saying I stole the title. This time I could prove the claim wrong since my manuscript had been sealed and dated by an outside source.Normally, such a thing wouldn't have hurt, but I really had no height to fall from.  Every step up collected nickels and dimes for an otherwise empty wallet.

I also noticed during the years that "real" readers aren't that keen on leaving reviews. At one point, I found that the content of my book was used in a community for the poor and outcasts as guidance, faith, and deliverance. Simply put, this small book, this science fiction, made a change and gave people hope! 

One day a few years ago, I'm listening to an interview. In this interview, the shell of a young woman describes her faith, naming my lead character and book as a prophecy. The impact this had on me is hard to fathom. I learned two lessons from the experience. 1. Real people with real lives read my books. 2. My books matter.

It's true what they say about isolation; the bubble it creates gives a sense of a cartoon-living in which we are the main characters! Because believing in a dream when no one else does creates isolation, shame, a feeling of being lost in the jungle, the odd one out, the weak link, or the bad cogwheel. When I understood this young unfortunate soul was talking about my book, my piece of work, I sunk down in deep evaluation. 

I instantly felt responsible for whatever harm my book could've caused, problems that weren't showing in this lady's joy of having something to hang on to. I grew a wider moral and ethical responsibility, and from hereon became eager to raise my literary transparency.Since this was the absolutely first time, I realized real people actually enjoy my books, the "creator's isolation" began to thaw. 

Imagine yourself as an author that no publisher wants to publish, with no money, with no fans or followers, and only a dream? It's pretty much the North Pole I'm describing, and needless to say, very cold and lonely! But here I was, stubborn, poor, living in a suitcase thinking "...if I can sell 3 books a month, I can sell 6 or 60 too!" And it ought to be noted that I didn't exploit my friends and family in any way; I never manipulated social media engagements, and I never pushed myself down anyone's throat. 

I figured that people who want to read whatever I'm writing have friends that enjoy similar genres. I base my potential sales on free will! It's morally high, but no winner!In the middle of last year, I had uploaded loads of audiobook episodes on YouTube, on TikTok, and everywhere I thought could be smart. Still, I felt and feel uncomfortable saying I'm an author. Only creators published by high-worthy agencies are authors. Only those who can compete in marketing are authors. Not the weird lonely woman without cats on the North Pole shouting at the top of her lungs for anyone to hear, "I write books too!"

But then something began to happen. Suddenly I'm selling more books than ever before, then more books and even more books! This morning I had my second realization when slowly expanding the sales in square. That is, beginning to cover uncharted waters. I am sure my journey of 10 years continuous struggles as an author could've been shortened to a year with the right help from the start, through someone willing to take a chance, but that didn't happen. 

I had to learn everything myself, and I'm glad I did. It is possible to get some sales; it is possible to increase sales; it is possible but also very, very hard!My tips to struggling authors like myself are "don't engage too much in easy success stories!" Those aren't simply true. It is always better to prepare for winter than dream of summer, investing in a bathing suit instead of warm clothes. The truth is seldom as fancy, but it's still a physical piece of information that whatever future we get will be built through.