trent x justin

I Want The One I Can't Have

JUSTINS POV

I look around and see that Trent isn't here. I don't know why... "Hey, where's Trent?" i asked. They both look at each other and shrug, "Uh, i don't know man." Cody says. I sighed lightly and nodded. We get to practicing but i keep messing up. "Dude, what's up?" Harold asked. "Nothing." I replied, why isn't he here. We continue to practice and it's really awkward and we're really bad, Trent just so happens to hold us all together. Without him we're basically nothing.

An hour later

"Hey, guys wanna go and check on Trent?" Cody suggests. I almost jump up at the question, Harold and i both agree and then out the door we go. Harold decides to drive us to Trent's place. We arrive and just look at his house for a few minutes, i get butterflies in my stomach. I'm not sure why.. maybe it's because i feel sick? yeah that's probably why.

Cody gets out first, Harold, then me. I slam the door shut and i get started, no idea why, yet again. Knock knock, no answer. Knock knock, no answer again. It's pointless, he won't answer. "Hey, cmon man." Harold pleads. Why won't he just answer us? is he avoiding us?

...

Times flies, we're sitting on the porch and still no answer the whole time. Cody stands up. "I'm gonna go.. he's not going to answer us, there's no point." he sighed. Harold stands up also, "Yeah, me too. Sorry Justin. If you're staying then fine, but you should come." he speaks. I sit there with my head hung low. I'm staying. I don't care if he doesn't answer, i'll wait. I need answers. A few minutes go by before i hear a shaken voice. "Umm, hey." Someone through the door speaks. He's here!? Trent's here. "Trent? you okay man?" I asked him softly. I lean my head against the door while sitting down against it with a faint smile. "Yeah, yeah i'm fine."

He's not fine, his voice is shaky but he's masking it. Why won't he tell me what's wrong? "You're not fine, i can hear it." i say. I lean my head down but i'm not sure what i'm expecting him to say? What if he says nothing at all. What if he doesn't want to talk to me at all, no. If he didn't want to talk to me then he wouldn't have. He waited, he waited until Cody and Harold left before talking to me.

"I'm not fine. I'm not sure i will be." He finally speaks. My face softens.

...

"Can you let me in? please Trent." i plead with him. He won't, he's not going to let me in. He knows i'm here for him right? right? I hear the door knob turn. I pick myself up and quickly face the door. My face instantly lightens when i see the door open. He stands there, head held low. I can't see his eyes. He's been crying hasn't he. "Hey." i say as my smile fades. He just stands there with no reply. After a moment of silence i feel his cold hand grab mine, he pulls me into his place and shuts the door behind me. He puts his head on my shoulder and we both fall onto the door behind. What's going on. I'm not sure what to say, he's just trying so hard to not cry, i hear it. I place my hand into his head and the other on his back. He begins to sob into my shoulder.

I'm speechless, i just sit there and let him cry. He clearly needs it."It's okay, let it all out." i whisper. I'm trying to calm him. It's working slightly. He lifts his head up and looks at me. "I'm sorry." he sobs. I smile and rub his head, "Don't be, it's okay." i reply. He stands up and walks upstairs to his room. I follow him. He plays his The Smiths vinyl, that's his favourite album. He sits on his bed, I sit beside him. He's leaning on my shoulder now, it's oddly comfortable.

This charming man is playing. I look at him. He looks back at me...

TRENTS POV

He's looking at me, i can't stop looking at his eyes, i want to kiss him. I do. I lean in a kiss him, my lips pushed against his, the warmth of his lips kissing mine. He pulls away. Shit. He looks at me. "I'm sorry, i think i misread the situation.." i say with my hand covering my mouth. "I- I think i should go." He says to me. My eyes begin to water as i nod. I can't believe i done that. He hates me, he must hate me after that. He's leaving, i don't want him to. I curl up and let the tears run down my face as i hear the door shut.

I open my eyes to the sun blasting me, what time is it? I look at my phone and it's only 12:38 pm. barley and hour passed. I sit up and rub my eyes. Shit my eyeliner smudged. I look at my hands and see the eyeliner all over them.

...

I get up and walk downstairs. This will do. I grab the bottle and head upstairs yet again, i get comfortable under my duvet.

I twist the cap off the vodka bottle and start gulping the drink - the slight burn immediately hits my throat, i'm not used to this. I stick my tongue out hoping to ease the burn a bit, that didn't help. I wait till the burn fades then i take another swig. Feeling the pain of rejection i managed to finish the bottle.

I throw the empty bottle onto my rug and let my mattress devour me.

The tears continue to fall, i feel tired. I move to my side and let my arm dangle off the right side of my bed. This random tiredness is most likely from my crying. My eyelids close and i finally fall asleep to the noise of my vinyl playing.

My eyes shoot open - the music came to a stop, i was met with sound of silence. My mind clears and i feel an ache. Shitshitshit what's the time. I pick up my phone and i was blinded by the bright screen, it reads 3:20 am. I look at the bottom of the screen and see many many notifications.

*6 missed calls from Total drama bros*

*12 unopened messages from Justin*

*8 missed calls from Justin*

I click my phone to open up the messages.

1127 words

A/N

I loved this, like loved omg. Thanks to ems for the whole chapters idea like ily!!! Also about Trent's eyeliner it's the type where it's just under your eyes and that, i don't know how to explain it rrrahhhhh!!!!!