(Don't) Leave Me Lonely

There was an inherent irony in being a celebrity who was also an introvert. Of course, being an idol means you have to interact with people on a near daily basis, whether you really want to or not. For most people, it's pretty easy to deal with. Considering he wasn't the only introvert in his group, and far from the only introvert in the industry, it was clear they all did it for a reason, that reason being that they love what they do. Hyunjin couldn't imagine changing it for the world, honestly, and if he had to do it all again, he'd do it no hesitation.

But still... there's nothing like a little alone time. And when you live with eight other people... well it's hard to come by. He'd rather live here than live at home or live on his own because this means he's living his dream (funny enough not even a dream he realized he had until it was there). But goddammit, if Han Jisung did not get out of his (their) room, he was going to start yelling. Like, maybe if he was also being quiet (which, did the boy not claim to also be an introvert? Why does he feel the need to say every thought out loud? Has he forgotten he's not alone?), they could just have their introvert alone time together where no one speaks and they stay on their phones or reading a book or even just staring at the wall. Instead he has to listen to some loser prattle on about the mating cycles of a praying mantis. God, Jisung is so irritating sometimes.

But then... it's not really any of their faults, is it? How are they supposed to know Hyunjin needs a minimum of an hour to lay in bed in the morning before starting his day and that he also needs a minimum of two hours at the end of the day to lay in his bed before falling asleep and that also maybe perhaps throughout the day he just needs to sit alone with no one else near him for a good twenty minutes just to rejuvenate his consistently dwindling social battery? Especially not a bunch of late-teenage boys with nothing but energy and the excitement of finally debuting.

And yet once again, Hyunjin finds himself getting frustrated that no one seems to want to leave him alone today and unfortunately for the Stray Kids ensemble, today might be the day Hyunjin finally snaps. He's really good about controlling his temper, usually. Able to find a hiding spot, or put his headphones in, even sometimes they'll notice he's not in the mood for jokes and they'll quietly leave the room or just stop talking to him. Someone didn't get the hint today. Han Jisung didn't get the hint today. And like... they're friends. They're friendly. They had some disagreements, but they talked it out, and now things should be ok. But that's been thrown out the window now that Jisung has decided he wants to jump into Hyunjin's bunk and try to shake him, and yeah. Final fucking straw.

"Oh my fucking GOD, can you be normal for once in your goddamn life!? Stop acting like a fucking freak and leave me alone already!"

And with shaky breaths (because Hyunjin doesn't yell, he doesn't need to), shaky hands, and his phone and headphones, Hyunjin storms out the bedroom, past the boys on the couch who definitely heard what he said, past the kitchen where Chan is very obviously watching him, and out the front door. He doesn't even know where he's going he just can't be in that apartment right now. For the time being, he decides to just sit outside the front door. He can't leave the building and quite frankly, he doesn't know it well enough to decide to go exploring right now. Either way, Chan is going to text, call, or follow him, so it's not like he'd be able to escape forever. Or at least for a substantial amount of time for Hyunjin to calm down.

He's man enough to admit he regrets what he said to Jisung. Regretted it as soon as the thought flitted through his mind and he opened his mouth. But he said it and then he stormed off before anyone could say anything and also why hasn't anyone texted him or come looking for him yet? Is that hypocritical to think? It's clear he wanted to be left alone, but now that they're actually giving him his space... it feels wrong? He thinks it's because he's not actually in his space, though. He's in the hallway outside of their shared apartment. And no one came to look for him after he stormed out. They're not giving him space. They still don't understand because Hyunjin hasn't told them. He feels the rest of the lingering anger deflate. He has no right to be mad and he has no right to take it out on the others.