1.3 | Cellophane

xx | promise

Jai felt like his breakfast was threatening to make an appearance. He rarely ever got sick and now that he was feeling queasy, solely because of anticipation and worry, he felt like a weak man. Of course, only Ishita could turn him into a quivering mess of nerves. This woman... this fucking woman owned him without even trying and he didn't want to fight it.

He focused on the document opened on his screen, reading through the reports. His eyes ran over the words but his thoughts fluttered back to Ishita. He couldn't wipe the image of her in that black dress on the night of his father's birthday party. Jai barely held himself back from shutting her feisty mouth with his own and hauling her into the darkness. She was a menace when it came to his heart. A lovable menace.

Two knocks sounded from the door and Jai's head perked up. His heart thundered against his chest. This was it. This was the moment he was either going to become the luckiest man alive or be sentenced back into the lifeless prison he'd created for himself. "Come in," he said, barely getting the words out. Just when he was going to repeat it again, the door opened. In walked Ishita.

She was clad in a linen black blouse and an olive green skirt. That fucking skirt... Jai didn't think he was going to live through today.

"Hi," she told him, rooting right in front of his table. "Good morning. You look... green. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Did you have breakfast?"

"Veer stayed overnight in the apartment. He made breakfast and coffee. The coffee he makes is too good to let it go for a waste," she said, shrugging. Veer was Sahana's boyfriend. His ex-fiance's boyfriend. The one she had left him for. But Jai didn't feel a thing except a tingle of happiness for Sahana.

"That's nice. Sit down," he said, pointing at the chair across him. Ishita surprised him by dragging the chair around to the side, just like she did when they shared lunch. When she sat, he could get a whiff of her fruity perfume. So familiar and addictive.

"Let's talk," she began, moving her bangs out of her eyes. "Can I start?"

"Yes, please," he croaked out. Oxygen was hard to find.

Her hands kneaded themselves on her lap. This was the first time he was seeing Ishita nervous. Guess it's the same for both of us, he thought, a little to his relief; he had thought he was overreacting. "I thought about it. Very well, in fact. I realised two things. One, I don't like myself very much. I know, hard truth to face since according to everyone who knows me, I'm Miss Confident but turns out I have been insulting myself a lot these days. I don't know when this started but this self-deprecation has become an unconscious habit so I am not sure -"

"I can love you enough for both of us until you learn how you can love yourself."

Ishita blinked at him. her lips parted and closed. "That's... I did not expect that. Thank you."

She is not rejecting my words, Jai thought immediately. His spirits lifted.

"And second, I am terrified." Ishita was breaking her walls. With it, she was too. Tears glazed her eyes.

"Of what?" he asked as gently as possible. He wanted to take her hand and pull her near. Closer. He hated it when she cried.

"Of losing you."

Her words froze him.

"I am terrified that once I give us a chance and it doesn't end well, whatever we built till now gets destroyed as well. I want to preserve it. Our bond... whatever we have between us... it's precious to me. I connect with you in a way I've never connected with anyone even if we are polar opposites," she forces a laugh, "I mean, you are the last person I thought I would end up liking. And here I am."