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CHAPTER FIVE " hunters prey "
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November
Waking up was the hardest for her, her mind brought her back to life. Sometimes she wished her mind would just keep her locked under dreams and nightmares. She wished everything would be a dream and she would need to live it under her warm blanket.
But then, Enzo would rip her blanket out and tell her she had to wake up or she would need to walk. Beatriz didn't really care to walk to school, it wasn't really far. Before she would've walked with enthusiasm,now her feet would betray her as that did so many times before and the cold would eat her all.
The bed sheet screamed for her to get back in bed, to just lay there and forget everything once again. Beatriz ignored all the screams and walked to her bathroom.
It was like it was real medication, like she had really been prescribed it. But she hadn't been, the little pills waited for her next to the sink, in a little orange bottle.
Open, take two, swallow them, stay alive.
She looked at herself in the mirror, ever since the accident she hated mirrors, she tried to avoid them as much as possible. It showed her all she was, everything she could've been. It showed her the big, almost purple eye bags under her eyes. It showed all the imperfections she had in her face, stress, anxiety, just drug overdose, everything could be a reason for them. Face acne.
Before, she would have tried everything to get rid of them, her mother would have called to the dermatologist in Port Angeles and booked an appointment. Now, she barely even cared about them. She didn't really care about anything in her appearance.
She really tried, she tried to be as self conscious as she was before, but nothing helped. Maybe, if she would care about herself she would let herself heal. Call a therapist, book and appointment, tell the therapist everything she could about what happened and with time she would recover. But she couldn't do any of that.
The only thing Beatriz was capable of was overusing drugs and alcohol, having mental breakdowns and looking like a fucking depressed child.
She knew she wasn't well, but what would you made her do?
