Wow eh.. big surprise .. come here and try and settle things. And we'll go figure. Same fucking bull shit as before. Absolutely nothing has changed. Still fucking pretending to talk in his god damn sleep. Moaning and speaking like he's fucking someone else right beside me. And the worst part about it all as that he's full aware of what he's doing and doing it intentionally. How fucking disgusting is that.
I fucking hate coming here. I would rather be in the damn streets then be here for him and who the hell ever else can mind fuck someone else. Like what kind of person actually steals ggt up lies to your face about anything you confront him about.. an then gets pissed off because your fucking fed up with the childish mind games and annoyed because you trust absolutely no one..
Pretty fucking sad. Who can be with anyone when you can even go to their fucking house because you dislike being there that much.
Pretends to be fucking sleeping. Pretends to fucking talk in his sleep. Feels like I'm being watched every fucking move I make. Can't even use the washroom and feel comfortable at all. I absolutely fucking hate being here. Here I thought being literally 11 days since we've even seen each other or even spoke properly.. so thinking I'm going to come here and get answers to the bullshit actions he's pulling. Nope not even a little bit. He does just what I fucking accused him of at my place and then when I ask he just acts like I'm fucking stupid and make me seriously think I'm losing my fucking mind. Who honestly can do that to someone they claim to fucking care about. Makes me just turn right fucking cold and have no fucking care about nothing he says or anything he does makes me turn more and more against everyone. Wanting to do nothing or be around anyone..
You don't go from such a fucking deep sleep that your talking in your sleep to awake saying oh what's wrong the second I make the slightest move. Fucking impossible.
So glad that my fucking mental health is such a fucking game to this person.
Clearly he has someone else he's interested in and clearly has done big fucking joke with someone else about how far they can seriously push me before I completely fucking snap.
Here I am madly in love with him and he's purposely playing fucking mind games with me to the point that I seriously believe that I should be kept in a fucking locked room all doped up on some heavy fucking mental pills. Like what kind of person does that to someone they claim to care about.
The worst part is that I don't think I can handle anyone if anyone. Honestly with everything in me I just wish that I would fall asleep and never fucking wake back up. Clearly it's the best thing that would happen to me because I'm going to ducking snap. And all that's going to do is push me right back to using fucking drugs only with full I'm intentions on using too much and ending it myself. Wonder how that would make these fucking people feel. Ptfft.. they wouldn't feel at all. It's probably what they want. Make me lose my fucking mind so that I ruin everything I've worked for just to watch me suffer that's the only thing I can see clear as day.
None of these people care about me at all. And actions have proved that over and over again. Why can't I just leave and be sober with this fucking shit.
If there's one thing I'm asking god for now. Is please just end my suffering now before before I get forced to do it myself.
Fucking hate this life! Hate what these so called "family& boyfriend" are doing to me purposely. Makes me sick. 💔🤢
Honestly I just wish I never even got sober so I didn't have to fucking go threw any of this crap that these people are purposely doing to me. 💯
Wish I could just go back to not giving a fuck about nothing or no one. Clearly I was much better off then I am now. Fucking straight bull shit.
I wouldnt do to my worst enemy what these fucking people are doing to me. Straight bottom low life shit. Smfh. Must be just what they want me to lose it. Well congrats I have. They happy yet. Nope of course not. They have to make sure to destroy the rest of my fucking life too ,🤢🤢🖕
