"AYE, I got some new shit for you bruh," Judah's plug, Reese, said causing him to shake his head no.
"Nah, I been tryna get off pills, I'm good," Judah declined.
Judah used to only smoke, but he felt like weed didn't numb his pain enough. So he did some pills, it wasn't anything hardcore though.
Recently, he had been trying to get off of them. He cared about someone now, and although she may not care about him, he would still try.
He didn't want to scare her away, and from his eyes he hadn't scared her yet.
Judah wished that he knew why his mind worked the way it did, but he didn't.
Maybe it was because the way he grew up, he was dealt a bad hand straight out of the womb.
His mother was an addict, and his father was dealer who died before Judah was even born.
His mother was negligent of course, she never really tended to Judah, she allowed his grandmother to take care of him.
But whenever his grandmother asked for custody, his mother denied.
Judah loved his grandmother, and he honestly loved his mother.
But when his mother took him his grandmother, he began to grow a hatred towards the woman.
And when he found out that his grandmother had passed and he didn't even get to spend time with her before she did, he hated his mother.
As time passed his mother got worse and worse while Judah found comfort in school.
He was always a smart kid, he was so smart that he was offered an academic scholarship in highschool.
And when he ran home to tell his mother, she tore him down, and he remembered the day vividly.
The day he killed his mother.
-TEN YEARS AGO
"Ma! Ma you won't believe this!" An excited Judah said, running into his mother's bedroom.
"What Judah?" The very high woman said, annoyed with the presence of her son.
She sighed as she wiped some powder off of her nose.
"I got it! I got the scholarship, I might be able to get us outta' here,"
"Let me see," The woman said, snatching the paper from the boy's hand.
She read over it silently before laughing.
"You really think you smart, huh?" The woman said causing him to furrow his eyebrows.
"You think them people care about you? Shit, do you think anyone cares about you?" She continued.
"Ma...what you talking about?" The boy asked, clearly confused.
"You Judah. You think you soooo smart, you ain't nobody,"
"You know why they gave you this? It ain't cause you smart. It's because they pity you. You broke, ugly, and black as hell. They know you ain't gon' go nowhere in life so they giving you false hope,"
"You know how you gon' end up? Just like me. Getting high everyday. You know why?" She asked causing him to shake his head, attempting to blink the tears out of his eyes.
"Because you're nothing Judah. You're never going to be anything. You have no purpose here, none. So you might as well give up now. And that's just me being real" She said, making sure the boy felt every word she was saying.
