Bloom Again

CHAPTER 8

TULIPS

I can't live without you.

The girls suddenly look as if they are no longer eight, but nineteen. We stand amongst the throng of people, wearing all black, and staring at Eos' casket. Matsuho, keep it together. I'm trying not to cry. I can't cry, not with the girls needing their father when they can't find their mom. They're old enough, where they understand exactly what happened, but not why. I just don't understand why she wouldn't tell me. Cardiomyopathy isn't the most common thing, but she knew, and didn't tell me. What kills me isn't the fact that she died, it's the fact that she went through her pain all by herself, without ever talking to me about it.

As Eos is placed into the soil, I hug the girls close and lean into them fighting as the tears threaten to take over. Akina sobs, and Kitsu just stares into my eyes, blankness reflected in her brown eyes. It hurts my heart to see them crying and so gone, that all I can do is just hug them harder, as I blink the tears away.

Eos left a small box in my hands before she passed. She clearly put a lot of effort into it. I brush the tears away quickly, and gently open the floral printed box. Inside, there is only a mound of orange paper, and an envelope on top. I open the envelope gently, to reveal a letter. Handwritten as her style, and carefully written.

Darl+ing Matsuho,

I'm sorry for you to have to open this in the first place. I love you, so please don't beat yourself up over anything. Please remember that I am your orange tulip, and I will always be watching you from above. Although I have passed, I still am here, in your heart. Please take care of Kitsu and Akina for me. I'm sorry for not telling you, I know it must be annoying to you. I can't fit all I want to say to you in one letter, but these are some of the main things. I have always loved you Matsuho, always. No matter the day, the time or the hour, from the time we made our truce, to when you asked me out to prom. You were my first love, and my only love. Our children no longer have their mother, but I trust that you will provide for them and raise them as if you would if I was there. Give them the best love, and all that they deserve. I want you to know so many things, and I wished I had said them all sooner. There is always a reset button, and if you need a rest, take it, please. Sometimes, the world will fall, imperfectly perfectly. It happens for a reason, and I will love you, always. Never forget me, I am forever by you in spirit. Forgive me, I love you, till eternity, is no more. Where the orange tulips bloom, I'll see you again.

I'm sorry.

I love you always,

Eos

Tears stream down my face. My head is in a whirlwind. I gently pick through the orange paper, and find each paper holding a small handwritten note for the family. I smile, the orange tulips are always what her brain goes to, and it's the best idea ever. If she isn't here to teach them, these papers will. The orange tulips will guide them back home, to their mom, and love.