This Feeling

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Saniya

"Babe, you try'na hit this?" I looked over to see Khalil attempting to hand me a Dutch and I shook my head. "I would, but I don't think I have any perfume," I moused while looking in my backpack. I opened the box to look around only to come up empty handed.

"Didn't I leave some in here the last time you brought me home? Where is it?" I asked and Khalil inhaled and put his head back on the headrest like he didn't hear me. I sucked my teeth and nudged his arm, "Khalil!"
"What?" He looked over at me while blowing smoke through his nose and wearing the dumbest fucking face.

"Ain't I leave some perfume in here the last time we smoked?"

His eyes grew big. "Oh shit... I mighta threw that shit out when I was cleanin' out the car Saturday. My bad baby. I'll get you another one." I gasped. "My bad?" I hit his shoulder. "Khalil, my Mama brought me that back from her trip to Dubai. I barely even got the chance to use it."

"Damn. I said my bad girl. I told you I'll get you another one!" Khalil reached over to hold my hand and I looked over stink facing him like a muthafucka. "You gone go to Dubai and buy me some perfume?" I asked flatly, knowing his broke ass couldn't do shit about the $195 he just threw in the trash. "And what did you need to clean the car for? I literally just helped you clean out your car Thursday after school." He blew a breath of frustration. "I can't keep my shit clean?"

"I'm in this bitch almost everyday and it ain't never not clean. And when it get like that I be there to help you clean it. Just tell me the truth, Khalil. You was ridin' some bitch around in here this weekend?"

"Oh my fuckin' God bro. I'm just try'na smoke this blunt in peace and here you go trippin'."

"How am I trippin'? I asked you a simple question... but not givin' me a straight answer just might give me a reason to start trippin'," I said with an attitude. "I'm sicka arguin' witcho ass! Saniya I'm witchu every damn day! I take you to school, I walk you to class, I carry yo books, and I bring you home but the only thing you ever worried about is 'some other bitch' but the one in my face is gettin' on my got damn nerves!"

"You callin' me a bitch?!" I started to swing when my door opened and all of a sudden I was being yanked out of the car. I looked up to see my soon to be step dad looking like someone had really pissed in his cereal today. "Get your bag. Let's go," he said sternly. I rolled my eyes but I didn't even protest. He locked our arms together as he stood at the door beside the gate unlocking it and I watched him stare Khalil down as he pulled off. We went inside and took our time walking up the long driveway to the house silently. "Who was that boy? Was you boutta hit him?"

"Khalil's just my friend." He shook his head with a smirk on his face. "So why was you about to hit Khalil's just your friend?"

"He pissed me off. I really don't wanna talk about it."

"Well I won't get into all ya business. But you know I love you and your siblings like y'all my own. So I'ma tell you this. Friend, boyfriend, husband— whatever. Don't put your hands on no man. That ain't how no lady posed to carry herself. And whatchu gone do if he decide to hit you back? Call your big brothers?" I smacked my teeth.

"You a man. What you know about how a lady supposed to carry herself?" He looked down laughing at me. "You ever seen your Mama try to hit me?" I shook my head.

"No. But I seen her hit my Daddy." He leaned in a little to whisper, "She love me more than she ever loved your Daddy." I laughed knowing it was a good chance that that was probably true. "I'm for real though kid. You can't put yo hands on no man... When you got a relationship— regardless of what kind of relationship it is, love is important, sure. But you know what's just as important as love?" I looked up at him without saying anything.

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