Tears came out like rivers, never stopping. The sugar-like sweet promises stabbed your cracked heart even deeper. You couldn't make your heart believe the reality even though your mind believed. The hollow feeling made your heart sink deeper than oceans.
Hand clutching on your head praying it all is just a nightmare and everything is fine outside. Jaws were clenched suppressing the pain filled screeching. Why did you let someone take a hold over your heart this much when you knew it was the most fragile thing ever. You treasured your heart so much because you knew someone would break it but then why did you let him take a hold of it.
The thunderous weather outside didn't budge you a bit but what about the thunderstorm which was in your heart. Embracing the wrinkled shirt tight near your chest you released the sorrowful suppressed screech. The holds on your shoulder got firm as their eyes too shedded tears witnessing the destroyed life of the woman.
The anonymous people gathered pitied you and your fate but nothing seemed to bother you as your state just got worse. Soon the people gathered started fading as dark clouds started taking over the sky.
8:20pm
The wind blew the brunette locks slightly soothing the burning swollen eyes, no matter how hard you tried to convince yourself and tried to accept you still couldn't. Your heart sank imagining the state of your son when he'll get to know the news, holding back the tears you tightened your chest trying to take a hold over yourself as you can't be weak you have a son.
The door swung open by the little 3 feet preschooler who came back from his taekwondo class and hopped on his way towards you. Jumping on your lap he made himself comfortable and started to blabber about his day in the most dramatic way just like his father. You couldn't focus on his words but the way he was talking and giving out a big variety of dramatic expressions.
He reassembled his dad so much that it was stinging your heart even more as you couldn't hold back and tightly engulfed him in your embrace and broke down. The boy who was now stunned by the sudden action of his mother made him concerned as he hugged her and patted her back with his tiny hands.
"Eomma, what happened?" hearing his tiny voice you pulled out and held him firmly in your arms "b-baby promise me you'll stay by my side" you asked him as the kid nodded "You remember once appa said that he loves his country as much as he loves us, and if it means to sacrifice himself for us or his nation he gladly would….." you tried to hold your tears back but no use.
The little preschooler felt his heart swell upon hearing the devastating news as an uneasy suffocating feeling in his chest made him hiccup and sob, but realizing that his mother was even more shattered, he gently patted her back telling her that "it's okay eomma…appa was always a brave hero, he'd be sad to see us crying instead we should be proud of him".
Hearing the kid you couldn't form words in your mouth, you were so proud of your son for being so mature and sincere in such a situation. Pulling out of the hug you stared at his face as you remembered each and every facial feature of Hyunjin. The resemblance was uncanny.
—------------------––
Tucking the tiny bean in the bed, you tiptoed out of the room trying not to create any sound which would disturb him. Opening the door of your and Hyunjin's shared room you walked in the cold ,dark, empty room. Sliding the blinds you let in the dim light of the crescent moon, turning around your eyes fell on the big Portrait of You and your son which hung right above the headboard of your bed.
This portrait was painted by Hyunjin himself 2 years ago, he gifted you this portrait for your 5th wedding anniversary. The memories are still fresh….
flashback~
"Don't open your eyes until I tell you" you heard Hyunjin say as he left your arm which he was holding to lead the way. You could feel the excitement oozing out of you with the suspense as Hyunjin stood behind you and slowly untied the blindfold and asked you to slowly open your eyes.
The moment you lift your eyelids your gaze falls upon the magnificent portrait in front of you. A gasp leaves your lips witnessing the flawless masterpiece of your husband, just like him it was perfect and flawless. A smile crept on your lips and curved into a huge grin with fresh warm tears pooling your eyes.
You felt him snake his arms around you and embrace you from behind as he giggled "I didn't think that you'd like it so much" which caused you to argue back "what do you mean ?? I love it!!". Turning around with him still embracing you , you looked straight in his eyes which held nothing but love and adoration.
You couldn't help but feel grateful to the Almighty for having Hyunjin in your life, someone who always stood by your side no matter what.
flashback end~
A lump formed in your throat remembering the time you've spent with him. You slowly laid on the bed and let yourself sink in the soft mattress as your hand went on the right empty side of the bed out of habit. The cold side of the bed was so strange and gut wrenching, realization hitting you harder than ever that it was him who made this house a home, it was him who made you feel warm in this cold world, it was him who never made you realize the coldness of the world.
But his absence reminded you of every moment you spent with him and how he meant a lot more than just a husband to you. Sinking the emptiness and loneliness in you, you reminded yourself to not shatter anymore. It was unexpected but there was no other option than acceptance….
