candlelight

roller-coaster

like what i said, no matter how disgusted i am, he always kind to me.

after that kind of accident i tell you– where he asks my friend to go home with him in my recent writing, selang beberapa menit dari kejadian itu, dia sama temen nya jalan keluar resto nya, kayaknya mereka mau balikin almus.

mereka berdua nyapa gue, i thought the greetings was kinda like basic greetings that people do when they got to go, but actually he asking me a question.

"mik lo pulang naik apa?"
"iya hati hati"
temen nya berhentiin motornya, kayaknya mau muter balik.
dia nanya lagi, tapi nadanya ditinggiin "mik lo pulang naik apa?"

also today i greet him when i want to go home after we did a xmas practice, i think he's still waiting someone to pick him up.

"jere duluan yaa, je"
he looks confused but then he saw me, and i accidentally waved my hand, and he waved his hands too. as more as i concern, i'm getting more more more inlove with him.

also there's a time when he greets me again at the school parking, gue lagi markirin motor temen, waktu itu abis ambil aqua dirumah temen, and suddenly i spot him, siapa sangka dia keluar dari pintu keluar sebelah ruang wakasek yang ngarah ke parkiran sekolah, dia sama temen nya juga waktu itu, panit natal juga. and to my surprise, he greets me with a friendly hi,

"hi mika"
i'm freeze and trying to reconnect my brain about what's just happened.
"halo jere" my mind goes blank. he greets me? first? oh hell.

and when we arrived to my friend's home to do some practice for our xmas drama's show. my other friends make fun of him by asking him a weird question like,

"jere, gimana rasanya dikhawatirin mika?"
"hah? serius?"
his reaction would make me even confuse but also blushing? i can't read him, is he fell in love with me too? or i'm just fall in love alone?

—
every time we met, my mind's always doing acrobatics, thinking, "does he really get it when i say i'm into him? is he just clueless or playing it cool?" it's a rollercoaster of confusion, and i'm left deciphering every interaction like some detective trying to crack a code.

i spill my feelings to my friends already, and they're like, "maybe he's just shy or clueless," but it's not helping my overthinking brain. i'm stuck in this limbo, wondering if i should make a bold move or just let it ride.

it's a daily struggle, decoding the mystery of his emotions. is he just not interested, or is he secretly into me? the mixed signals are driving me bonkers, and i'm left here, hoping for some kind of sign to clear up this romantic fog. love is supposed to be a two-way street, right?