Fresh Meat

Paraphilia

Death. Left or right, anywhere you looked you would see death, that was my life back in the 60's.

I always considered myself a strong person, mentally and physically, but Nam', it changes you, no matter who you are, killing and seeing your friends being killed will change you.

Anyway, I was a soldier back in sixty, just one of the millions expendables there. I Got through two years and was sent home.

People would kill and get killed not knowing why, that is the nature of war, none of us actually knew why we were there killing other human beings. It sounds morbid I know, but there is a difference between killing a soldier, and killing a person, an unarmed civilian. I killed my share of soldiers, but none affected me like seeing a normal person dead by the hands of war.

She was just a common charlie, just a widow probably looking for her dead husband's body parts, to give him a proper burial...

To clarify things I did not actually kill her, but I was the one that carried her body in a stretcher, me and another guy.

Looking at her, lifeless, incapable of defending herself, it woke something up in me. We ended up dumping her body in some hole with other casualties, but I never forgot her.

That's how I think it began, or at least how it surfaced in me.

Returning from the war, trying to adequate myself to normal life again was really hard, but I managed to get by, somehow.

Life was the most normal it could be for a war veteran, I got a cashier job in a convenience store, bought a house and a car for myself.

My relationship with my family was ok, we didn't talk a lot, but my romantic life was another story. I managed to date some girls, and it went well, until the sexual relation part, I wouldn't work, no girl could turn me on. It got me frustrated, anyway, life goes on, it went like that for years, but in the back of my mind, it still haunted me, that dead woman, it never left my mind.

I guess it was always there, but I never let the intrusive thoughts win, until I did, and there, I was reborn.

I finally managed to get erect, the thought of just penetrating that dead girl insides... Rotting, flies flying around her, inside her, my penis inside the rotten greenish dark flesh. Masturbating that day was the first time I got to the climax in years.

After this my life changed, I got more confident, happier and I was able to have sexual relations, kind of, during the act I just needed to think that the girl I was with was dead, which was hard, everytime she moaned or did anything that a dead body wouldn't do it turned me off.

It was during this time that I found my wife, the love of my life, we met in the convenience store, she was a usual costumer. Every time she bought something there she would talk to me a bit, with that we ended up knowing each other more and I asked her on a date.

Things were going pretty well, until I  couldn't hold it anymore, I was sexually frustrated and she noticed that our relationship was going under and none of us were happy anymore. One day she couldn't turn me on so she started crying and complaining how things were hopeless for us and how she would never have a baby, a thing she wanted a lot. She asked if I had another woman, and finally after years I gathered the courage to tell someone about that dead girl.

I told her everything, how it was the only thing that could turn me on, and how that girl haunted my thoughts. To my surprise she understood it pretty well, she even pretended to have a heart attack and fall dead on the bed. Seeing her naked, pretending to be lifeless, motionless, it finally got me going, we fucked all night.

After that our relationship rekindled, she started to take pills to sleep and during her slumber I would fuck her, she abstained from showering for days so she could have a bad odor like a lifeless body.

Unfortunately for her, even after years and years of active sexual relations we weren't capable of having a baby. This depressed her a lot. She put it in her mind that it was because of the pills she took and how it was destroying her insides.

Just like a cycle, our relationship got stale again, and then the visions of that dead girl started to haunt me once more, it was laughing at me, laughing at my sexual incapacity, laughing at my fucking soft dick and at my depressing sad relationship. This drove me even more insane, and my wife was noticing, she was getting more and more depressed.

On our anniversary, I was going to say that we should part our ways and that I was deeply sorry. But when I arrived home, things were odd, the whole house was dark, illuminated just by candle lights, it made a path to our bedroom.

The smell told me before my vision, metallic odor, one I knew pretty well. I slowly opened the door to the bedroom, and there I saw my wife, or what was left of her. My rifle laying next to her body, the walls covered in red and a fucking massive hole in her head, split open. I was shocked, but my dick was the hardest it's ever been. her pussy was cold already, I violated her body for hours and hours, all her holes, even the one she did herself, that was the best one. I came time after time, it got me tired.

That was what she wanted, to satisfy me, the only thing our sex was good for. I sat on the edge of the bed, after it, the clarity hit me and the visions started again, that girl, laughing at me, then it wasn't her no more, it was my wife, crying.

I feel ashamed for what I did. Lying naked next to my wife on the bed, I hope I'll meet her again next time.

Who thought that between all the enemies weapons, my own rifle would be the one that killed me.