The Candy and Rissa Show!

Guide To Boys; Ep. 2

CANDY: Hey guys! It's candy here and I made a chicken wet.

RISSA: Oh my Gawd! Do you people see what I deal with everyday? But here's what happened:

INSTANT REPLAY!
(Yesterday)

CANDY: Yo I really want to eat wings right now! All I had to eat today was ramen noodles.

RISSA: HAHAHA! your so straight froward but wings DO sound seriously sexy right now...

CANDY: I know right! Like damn baby, you look really barbecued. I would like a piece of that..(I'm very bad at seducing wings..)Haha!

RISSA: *rolls over in tears, laughing like a hyena on steroids and clutches stomach*

CANDY: I seriously need food though. One meal is not enough. This is why I can't wait to drive. I can go seduce chicken wings at 1 in the morning.

RISSA: Are you trying to tell me you can make chicken get hot for you?

CANDY: It's true though I'm good at it. I told a chicken wing it was hot and a little piece of sauce dropped from it (I need help!)

RISSA: SERIOUS HELP! Hahahahahahahahaha!

THE END!!!!

RISSA: Yeah so to wrap all of THAT up, if you are a chicken wing and your nights are lonely, hit Candy up!

CANDY: Yup. But anyway welcome to our second chaptersode!

RISSA: Yay! Today's topic is: How to deal with some of the insensitive, pervish, douchebag's of our generation that we have to call boy's!

CANDY: So let me start off by saying I don't like boys. I mean most of them at my school are all douche bags and egocentric. I'm not saying that all boys are idiots and are superficial but let's just say there's a hell of a lot. There is always that group of boys that are all fuck boys. Yes every school has them and if you don't then you are lying. So here's the guide to boys.

CANDY: Rule one: wear as much clothing as possible. Yes you will look like a potato but then you'll find the right boys who won't use you for that sexy ass body of yours.

RISSA: Rule two: Don't hang go for the boys that you know will make you popular all over school because those are the ones who will use you in the end...the ones who will tell everyone how annoying you are, or talk about how smelly your breath is during your make out session behind your back.....those bitch holes, I know.

CANDY: Rule 3: Don't act dumb ok? First of all acting dumb is just a turn off. I'm just saying nothing is more annoying than a girl acting like she should be watching Sesame Street and eating gummies in Pre-k. Just be yourself because if you act dumb and the stupid idiot of a guy falls for you then he's falling for a girl thats not you. So just be yourself even if you are a hoe. It's ok no one will judge you. (To your face)

RISSA: Rule four: Don't be one of those desperate girls that are constantly asking a guy how he feels about you, and wearing a freaking baiting suit to school, calling it an outfit just so said guy can oogle your goodies. Basically, just don't turn into a frantic stripper just because you want someone to love you.

CANDY: Rule 5: if you are one of those clingy girls. I know guys and they do not like clingy girls. It honestly makes them uncomfortable. I know because I have guy friends and when a girl comes and acts all weird you can see their face. Guys do not want clingy girls in a relationship. If you are in a relationship one of the steps is trusting each other. If you are dating a boy that fucks with everyone and he says you are special. Choose to believe it. (Even though he might have said that to every thing with a vagina but don't worry)

RISSA: And me and Candy have so much information about boys because we both currently have boyfriends, who are super loyal, and sweet!

*WARNING*

*False information was given in this chaptersode, such as the fact that they do not have boyfriends and they are completely and utterly fake and made up*

CANDY: Last rule and the most important one. Be yourself. Who cares if you aren't most the attractive girl in the school. You don't need to look like a unicorn threw up on you. Everyone should accept themselves. One day a guy will appreciate you. Well knowing this society just hope but know baby you're worth it.

RISSA: Yasssssss. You go Candy Cane! So we can at least tell you our Celeb crushes.

CANDY: I want Grayson Dolan. He's hot. Basically so is Ethan but you know I don't care Ethan and Grayson are both great. So basically Um yeah. Mkay. Bye!

RISSA: Mine is a whole bunch of people but number one is Josh Hutchersom. That is one fine piece of man cheese. But anyway, comment your celeb crushes!

Love,peace, and all other things the world should be! BYEEEEE!

~Candy and Rissa

EPISODE TRANSLATIONS BY CANDY~~~~~~~

chaptersode- chapter/episode

Watt topic- wattpad version of a hot topic