A Touching Of Lips (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 42. Guilty Feelings.

After saying goodnight to the twins, and to Pond and Chiang, I began to feel a little nervous about another night with Ming. Not because I thought he would jump me, but because I wasn't sure if deep down that's what I wanted him to do.

I was also worried about doing what Karn had suggested and telling him how I felt in case it, indeed, led to other things.

I showered and got ready for bed first, and while Ming was in the shower I moved the bed divider bolster away and slipped under the covers.

My eyes were glued to Ming's bare torso as he came out of the bathroom, drying his hair.

"Would you like me to make you a hot chocolate?" He asked, giving me a sweet smile. "There's a couple of sachets here and all I need to do is add hot water. I think I could manage that, don't you?"

"Please. That would be nice. I don't suppose there are any marshmallows about?"

"Nah! Can't see any. Pity that."

I lay in bed watching his every movement. I was telling myself that it was natural to look and not to touch, but I was getting increasingly stronger urges to do just that.

Ming had his back to me and was finishing making the drinks when I slipped up behind him and put my arms around his midriff and squeezed him.

"Hey! Easy does it, Earth. If I did that to you, you would have shouted at me."

"Maybe, maybe not," I replied. "I wanted to touch you and want you to touch me, as in hug or cuddle, but not take it any further. I'm not ready to go there yet as I need to talk to you about it. I'm not sure just yet what I want to do."

Ming laughed, as he spun round and wrapped his arms around me. "Talkings a good place to start. How are you feeling now we are close like this?"

I went red and couldn't answer.

"Does the red face mean you're excited? Angry? Or just a little uncomfortable?" He asked, giving me a soft smile of understanding..

I looked at him shyly. "I feel a bit awkward...., you know, as in feeling like I am doing something wrong, but I still want to do it anyway. Do you understand what I mean by that?"

"Yes! I know exactly what you mean as I have felt just as awkward as you are feeling right now. I think it's because we are expected to be like every other boy and like girls. It made me feel guilty when I knew that I didn't. I was ashamed for a while but once I had come to terms with it, and accepted that was who I was, I found it was easier to deal with. We are all different, Earth. No two coming out journeys are the same. I still haven't told my parents or my sister, so my journey is still in progress, but I am cool with myself and about my feelings towards other boys. I feel as if I have it all under control and I'm comfortable in my own skin."

"You better have it under control and not still have feelings for other boys or I will not be happy," I teased.

Ming laughed and kissed me on the forehead. "You know exactly what I meant by that. You're just twisting it to make me say I like you again, aren't you?"

I blushed and picked up my drink and moved away from him and slipped under the covers again, hoping Ming hadn't noticed that Mr Happy was trying to make an appearance. I tried to see if his Mister Happy was doing the same thing as mine as he slipped in the bed beside me, but I couldn't.

"You okay about not having the bolster, then?" Ming asked, as he plumped up the pillows and leant back against them.

"I moved it because I want us to be able to cuddle. I told you I don't want to go further and I'm trusting you to honour that even if you think I'm up for it. Okay?"