Pole position // Charles Leclerc

69

Charles's POV:
'You've got to relax.' Danny said, waiting at the door to her room.

'That's so rich, Daniel.' I responded, taking a deep breath, pushing past him and into the room. 

I couldn't see her at first, she was round the corner and hidden behind a curtain. I pulled it back slowly, my mind racing I could barely concentrate on what I was looking at.

She was asleep, cuts and bruises all over her pretty little face. But she looked okay. Her arm was out of the blanket and in a cast.

'Oh my god.' I mumbled, shaky hands making my way to the blanket, pulling it down a little further to see the rest of her. Despite being in a gown I could see a bruise just above her hip, and another scar under her knee.

Daniel walked in and I jumped, pulling the blanket back over her. He shook his head, picking up his sisters hand and holding it in his.

'Can she still walk?' I asked, not to anyone in particular, it was just a thought.

'Yes she can still walk.' A nurse said from behind me, placing her patient card back into a folder at the front of her bed.

'Do you know when she'll wake up?' Daniel asked her.

'It should be within the next half an hour.' She smiled softly.

'Thank you.' I said, firmly, moving so that I was no longer sitting on the chair and now being on the edge of the bed.

I felt her move her head into my chest and that allowed me to take the deepest breath of relief.

'I can't do this shit anymore.' I said, looking up to make eye contact with Daniel.

He didn't respond, staring at Mia with emotionless eyes.

'Daniel. I can't do this anymore.' I said, raising my voice a little louder.

'I know. I know.'

'This lifestyle isn't good for her at all.' I added, moving my hand to her cheek.

'It's not this lifestyle that got her hurt. It was an accident.' Daniel said calmly.

'How do you know that? How the fuck can that be an accident?' I responded, feeling the anger rise up inside of me.

'I don't.' He snapped, standing up and looking at both me and Mia for a second before leaving the room.

I sat with the silence for a second before giving her a kiss on the forehead, holding her close.

Lando had come up to me at the end of one of my interviews and pulled me into the car. I knew the second I saw his face something had happened to her, I just didn't want to see photos of myself in the news in the morning, so I acted like I had no idea.

The only thing in my head the entire time was knowing that I had not told her I loved her before I got pulled away. If she had died idve never forgiven myself. 

'Please wake up.' I whispered, my forehead against hers, pleading to see her eyes open.

Nothing.

'I love you so fucking much. Please just open your beautiful eyes for me, please?' I begged, watching her closely for any movement.

After nothing, I closed my eyes and pulled her close enough without hurting her, trying to force myself to sleep despite the sound of hospital machinery.

My heart in this current moment felt cold. I'd suffered death in my life before. So much death. And yet I felt like this was different. I didn't deserve this at all. Everything happens for a reason? Does it? Because if she was gone I wouldn't have been able to function anymore.

I felt movement underneath me, and so I pulled back, until I was on the edge of the bed.

'Hey.' I heard her whisper, opening her eyes slowly and using her free hand to reach for mine.

I began to tear up instantly, watching her squirm to find a place where her body didn't hurt. I undid the top button of my shirt, as if trying to get more air into my lungs but I really did feel like I was suffocating.

'I'm okay.' She reassured me, moving her hand up to my face.

'Oh my fucking god I thought you were dead.' I gasped, leaning forwards to kiss her softly on the lips.

'How's the driver?' She asked, her gorgeous eyes staring up at me.

'He's okay. I promise. But I want you to just focus on you and getting better yourself.' I assured her.

'When can I go home?' She asked, her voice breaking a little, and I could see she was close to tears.

'Soon.I promise I'll take you home the second I can.' I assured her.

'Home home. Australia.' She added.

I felt my heart physically break. She wanted to go back to Australia. The season was only half through and she wanted to leave. What if she never wanted to come back.

Every single awful thought was swimming around my head and I knew I was overreacting I just had no idea how to shut myself up.

'Only for a week or so, whilst I get better.' She assured me, holding my hand.

'I don't want to race anymore.' I blurted out, feeling her hand disappear.

'No. You can't say that. You have to race.' She responded.

'I can't. I want to retire. I want to live with you and I want to keep you safe.' I responded.

'Charles. Stop.' She insisted.

'I want us for the rest of my life. I'd give up my career for that.' I said, leaning forwards to give her a kiss on the forehead.

The door opened and Daniel walked in, looking at Mia in both horror and relief. Before he even had chance to ask how she was, she drew his attention to my split second decision to quit driving.

'Tell Charles he can't quit. Did you know he wanted to quit?' She asked, panicking.

'I did.'

'And you said what?' She responded.

'I said I'd understand if he did.' He nodded, giving her a hug, almost a little too tight.

'Don't let him.' She protested.

'Mia. You're hurt, please just try and relax.' He reassured her.

'You're not allowed to quit. This would've happened no matter what job you were in.' She pushed me.

She was right, of course. Unless somebody else had something to do with it. This would have happened anyway. I was just clutching at any straw I could to keep her in a bubble for the rest of our lives.

'I know.' I mumbled, refusing to believe she was correct but also wanting to calm her down.

She nodded, pleased with herself, leaning back in her bed and closing her eyes, continuing to talk to her brother.

My head was elsewhere. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. It would be so easy for me to walk out of this contract at the end of the year and never return. But that isn't what she wanted, and deep down, it wasn't what I wanted either.

'Where are you? Anywhere nice?' She joked.

'I don't know how you can be so cheery after all of this.' I said, in part disbelief and also part awe.

'Because I know everything is going to be okay.' She assured me, squeezing my hand.

'It will.'