His Hidden Little Secrets

January 10th BDC

"Thanks for going out with me tonight," Carter said as I got into his old, red, Chevy pick-up truck. He stepped on the gas pedal and drove off into the night. We usually loved night drives together. We would just stay on the road for hours, not knowing where we were going. We would talk and laugh together as the stars, the moon and the car's headlights lit up the night.

"Of course," I replied. Tonight, however, didn't seem as romantic as usual. Awkwardness was tight between us ever since New Years Eve.

We got on the road and drove without talking for a few miles. Carter was the one to break the silence.

"Did you really want to break up with me?" He asked quietly and he turned to look at me. His long hair covered part of his face.

"I was hurt, Carter," I said, not really answering his question. "You basically killed me that night."

He banged his fist against the steering wheel, shaking his head. "God, I don't get it. I've been drunk before, and whenever I get drunk, I usually just want to have fun with people, not hurt them in any way. I'm like my mom; I just get drunk to get wild and party." I could see tears glisten in his eyes as the moon shined on them. "I screwed up so bad that night, Saige Linnea. So bad, and I don't expect you to forgive me, but I need you to know how sorry I am. I don't know what was wrong with me."

"I know you're sorry," I said. "I'm sorry too."

"Saige, will you please give me another chance?" He begged. "Please, I will do anything."

"Promise me not to get drunk anymore." I turned to look at him. "Or DRINK, for that matter."

He groaned under his breath. "I will try as hard as I freaking can, okay?"

"You need to promise me that you won't."

"Saige... I-"

"What's more important to you, me or booze?" I almost shouted. "Because if it's booze, you can turn around and bring me home right now."

"No, you are WAY more important to me than booze." He sighed. "I promise you that I will not drink."

"Thank you," I said. One of my weights had been lifted off of my shoulders.

"Hey Saige?" Carter asks after a few moments.

"Yeah?"

"Do you still want me to kiss you?"

I thought about that for a second.

"Yeah," I replied. "But I don't want to crazily make-out. It's going to take me sometime to heal after everything."

"Yeah, I totally understand that." Carter said. "God, Saige, do you know how sorry I am?"

"Pull over," I said to him. He looked over at me, then back at the street, turning onto a road by a frozen lake. He pulled over and stopped the car.

"How much do you love me?" I asked.

"More than anything."

"Do you think I'm pretty?"

He didn't hesitate. "You're flawless."

"What do you love more about me?" I asked seriously. "My appearance, or ME?"

"I love you, Saige Linnea," he said. "I'm in love with YOU. Not just your gorgeous face. Not just your body. I love YOU, okay? I guess I was just really horny when I was drunk. I mean, every guy wants sex. I think that when you pushed me away when I wanted to peak, I got mad."

"Did you mean what you said?"

"Did I mean what?"

"You called me a bitch," I told him. "And self-centered and inconsiderate."

"God, Saige, I hate myself for calling you those things." He buried his face in his hands. "You are none of those things. I'm so screwed up. If anything, I'm all of those things; you're not. I promise you that you're not, okay? I'm so so sorry."

I felt a tear roll down my cheek, which startled me. I looked down at the ground.

"Saige," Carter said, wiping my tear away. "Here, come outside with me. I want to make you feel better."

We opened our car doors and Carter took my hand and led me to the frozen lake. "Have you ever been in the middle of the lake at night?" He asked.

I shook my head.

"Come here, it's amazing."

He helped me to step on the ice so that I wouldn't slip. "Do you think we'll fall through the ice?" I asked quietly.

"No, this ice is harder and thicker than a rock," Carter said, smirking at me. "And if you fall, I'll catch you."

I smiled at his sweetness and walked with him to the center of the lake. The stars above us seemed to get brighter and brighter the more we walked, and the full moon made the ice sparkle. Everything was so beautiful and I tried to feel happy, but I still felt slightly empty inside. I had so many questions for him that I still wanted to ask, like about the sapphire necklace and about all of the other stuff he told me on Christmas Eve, but I was too tired mentally and physically to ask.

I shivered as I felt the air get colder. The wind was picking up.

Without saying anything, Carter took off his jacket and put it around me.

"Carter, you're going to freeze," I said, noting that he was only wearing a short-sleeved shirt now.

He put his arm around me and held me close. "No," he whispered. "You're the one who has warmed my frozen heart, and with you right now, I'm burning up."

I laughed. "What's with all the cheesiness tonight? Because if you're trying to win me back, you already have."

"It's not cheesiness, Saige Linnea." He said, looking at me with his deep and beautiful eyes. "It's called love."

Then, he kissed me under the moon and the stars, holding me close in his arms. I felt so warm and safe with him right then, even after everything we went through. I closed my eyes.

I was in love. So in love.

I knew that after that night, no matter what happened, I never ever wanted to let go.