Oc Stories

pitiful sights

What Zack hoped for merely included having a fresh start in his new envoirement. He's aware of the fact he's gonna share a building with a good bunch of the same people, some being good, some bad. It worked in his favor for once, he didn't seem to share the same room, except the big, packed halls of the college building with Asahi, or anyone else from his old friendgroup. Except Seki, but he's always been an exceptional case, for several reasons. It was until he met someone in math class, someone who serves as an constant reminder of what he's trying to clean off his name from. It was awkward, specifically at first, for several reasons. He couldn't muster his own reactions, but his behavior always had a type of somberness behind them that came with the guilt of their time in high school, a regret that felt like it's never gonna wear off fully. It's too much to wear off completely, Kumas visibly sick and brittle appearance playing into whatever sickening, regretful deeds he didn't stop or even participated in he has been thinking of whenever he'd set his eyes on Kuma for too long.
The assumption that Kuma forgave him, or at least views him as a normal person couldn't fully get into his head. After all, you can't undo the damage that's been done, from which he got out off easily in this situation. He decided to not forgive Asahi either after all the years of resentfulness over something that can't be undone.
Maybe that's exactly it? It seems as if Kuma isn't gonna hold such a grudge over the past. Zack couldn't help but toss those questions at himself over and over. It's as if they can't be separated. First, they share a class, sit next to each other, do their assignments together, Kuma even ended up being Sekis roommate.
But no one can deny the never leaving tension in the room, especially when they hang out as three.
Zack couldn't grasp it, but he'd feel more and more out of place as the days passed.
After all, he'd obviously love to keep his close friend, but he'd also feel a sort of relief seeing them get along so well, so he wouldn't dare to get in between that. A dilemna he couldn't solve, he's done enough as it is, so he's just gonna settle with being in the middle of it. That was his ideal plan for the next eternity, but nothing's that easy. It was clear as ice that these two became inseperable after some time, but what's exactly bothering him so much about this? Seki's always quick to connect with people as long as they don't push him too much. Except when he realized.
Their shared group started feeling even more tense as time went on. Instead of what he had hoped for, that the sufforcating feeling will wear off after Kuma started getting along with present Zack, it just felt worse. And once again, it's his fault to bear alone.

He's well aware he developed feelings.

It was pitiful. No other way to explain it than that.

___________________

"So, like... What do you think of him?"
Zack turned, facing Seki while sitting on the greened ground, outside the school.

"Kuma?"

"Yeah."

"He's nice, why?"
No hints in Sekis voice about any details. Zack could've guessed as much, but a man can hope.

"Just asking, you guys have been hanging out a lot."
Zack responded, having a much harder time than Seki hiding the dissapointment in his voice.

"Well, I mean, you too. Plus, we share a dorm."
Sekis expression turned slightly irritated.

"Uh, true ... Still, I barely talk to my roommate."

"Why do you care? You got a crush on him or something?"
Seki cracked a smirk, casually asking as he typed something on his phone, clearly having no real intent behind it, the question just being a joke aside.

But Zack stood silent.

Seki raised his head, eyes slightly widening.
"You're joking."

But Zack blurted out laughing, covering the sheer panic that just arose in him.
"Of course I am! Y-you out of all people should know what my type is in guys.."

Sekis expression relaxed again, forming a lighthearted smile when he looked back down.
"Don't scare me like that."

Zack could collapse from relief, face flushed from embarassment. No idea how Seki bought that painfully obvious, defensive lie. Zack leaned back, calming himself again. 
But he looked at Seki again, wondering what he meant with 'don't scare me like that.'.

Would it really be that terrible if he likes Kuma? Does he like him?! Seki doesn't even know about their shared highschool events, they got to know each other just moments after Kuma disspeared.

If they get closer, and Kuma were to tell him, would he still wanna he friends ... ? Would that possibly ruin another one of his friendships? 

Zack felt a sharp, stabbing pain in his left arm, hissing as he grabbed onto the spot.

"You okay?"
Seki looked up when he heard the pained sound.

Zack spaced out for a moment, head turned down to look at his arm that he still held onto.

"Dude."
He placed his hand on Zacks shoulder, Zack shaking up.

"Yea, I.. I dunno, my arm cramped up randomly."
He could punch himself for such a stupid lie.

"Oh, man. Yeah, probably 'cause of P.E.. My shoulders still hurt really bad."
He twisted his shoulders, groaning as he remembered himself of his aching muscles.

"Hah ... haha, yeah."
He let out a relieved laugh and looked down.

Seki threw looks at him every once and then, suspicious of his weird behavior today, but decided to let it rest for today.
"We should attend next class or we'll be fucked."

"True ... I have ..."
Zack checked his time table, his stomach twisting when he saw he had math next lesson.
"Math."

"Thought so. Let me know if you need help, Kuma needed help too, might as well offer it to both of you."
He talked casually as he packed his stuff and got up to leave. 

Zack once again lowered his head. There's really no way he can avoid Kuma at the moment. That unless he distances himself from both of them. But doing so would leave him wondering about how close they're getting. The moment Kuma walked into that classroom, being assigned to sit next to him, he told himself that the least he could do is look after him, no matter his reaction to him. Just so the things from way afar don't happen again.

But he looks ... happy now. Happy with the new company he got. Kuma clearly doesn't need him to stick around.

He caressed his own arm as he looked up. Is this selfish of him? He didn't wanna stay away. He knows Seki is a nice guy, he wouldn't harm him. Hell, he'd do a better job protecting him than Zack ever could, but he still had the urge to stick around. Especially now that he realized in what a mess he put his life into ...

He painted on a smile and got up too. 
"I dunno. I'm kinda tired, I might just go right to bed after class."

"Oh? Well alright then?"
Seki looked at him with the same irritated look from before, turning around waving his little 'goodbye' before rushing to his next class. 

He needed serious time to think about this.