Ghosts And Roses

Chapter 3

Jeremy POV

"Jeremy. He never said he loved me. Never told me that he wanted to be with me." She starts to cry. That son of a bitch. How could he do this to her? To us? He has to know how long she wanted to be with him. She set aside half of her life to always be there when ever he needed. I remember that phone call very clearly. He told me to back off. That he wanted her and Jenny as his family. That he always loved Lola. He was going to tell her. Damn he even said he was going to marry her. I let go because I saw the bond they had. When we were together though it seemed to change. Her focus was on me. She had let her little crush go. She saw I loved her. I think she was in love with me too. I bought a ring. A beautiful princess cut diamond surrounded by smaller ones. Except the one purple stone. Right on the bottom of it. My character's signature color. It was me and my girl's joke. Hawkeye always has their six.  I was planning out our lives together. Them becoming my family. We were all going to be a family. I would have all my girls with me. I was about to tell my daughter that Lola and Jenny were moving to Reno. That I was head over heels for Lola. I wanted to marry her. Lola has been a huge part of Ava's life since she was born. From my understanding, still is. Even when I was with my ex, Lola and Jenny were important to both of us. Lola crocheted her this beautiful soft pink blanket for the shower. At the bottom was a single row of purple. Because her dad will always has his girl's six, she laughed telling me. She spoiled my ex and I with a bunch of other gifts. That blanket has been something Ava has always found comfort in. She still sleeps with it. Still now all these years later. I adore knowing Lola spent so much time and love to do that for her.  When Ava was born, she made sure we always had a home cooked meal. Flying from the east coast with Jenny, renting an air bnb with a huge kitchen. Just to be able to cook for us. Every two days like clockwork she would have meals. Usually, a coffee in hand for us. All while wearing a huge smile. Offering to take care of the baby so we could sleep. While making sure she gave us privacy and time. She is awesome at reading a room. Knowing boundaries. Not many people are built like her. When they came to visit for the first time Jenny took to Ava instantly. Holding her lovingly. Kissing her head. "Oh goodness another girl Avenger. We need them. She's so pretty Jer Bear." Her nickname for me. She was about six. As wrong as it is, I remember that moment fondly. Watching the two of them with Ayva. Intrusive thoughts of wishing that I could have Lola and her as mine. Wishing things would have been different. Met her earlier. That she was Ayva's mom. An awful thought, but I'm human. Should have known then my relationship was doomed.

"Jeremy." Her body shakes sobbing. I get up from my seat. Taking her into my arms. I've been watching how life has devasted her since I left. Dad died. Then mom. They were incredible people. Dad was like me. Always volunteering any way he could when it came to kids. He was well respected and loved in their community. Head of the school board and head of the youth sports programs. He threw himself into mentoring kids. Huge part of why I do what I do now. He inspired me. Lit my fire so to speak. He would have loved what I do in Chicago. He was very focused on sports, but his daughter and granddaughter love the arts. I try to bring both wherever I can. When my series came out on Disney plus, I thought of Lola and Jennifer every moment. It premiered a few days after mom passed. My dear friend helped on that episode. It brought sports and music together. I felt like mom was there that day. Dad too. Imagining him patting my shoulder. I swear I heard him say "I'm proud of you son." In my ear. He was a father figure to me. I looked up to him. Vanessa hugged me tight in that moment. Seeing the tears in my eyes. She had met them all years ago. Jenny and her connected. Mem and Papa adopted her, like they did everyone. She cried with me. Telling me that Papa's proud, so is Mem. Lola and Jenny too. "You both deserve better." Holding me tighter. Shaking my head, trying to let go of that hurt. "Please baby. Don't cry." Pulling myself out of the memory. "I've thought of you every second of every day. I'm so sorry." Rocking her in my arms. Feeling whole again because she's in them. No matter where I am. She brings my soul comfort. "Hot guy?" She sighs. Calling me my old nickname. When I first met them, Jenny had a hard time pronounce certain things. She used to say Hot Guy instead of Hawkeye. "You're ok now?" Big brown beautiful eyes meet mine. "There was a few rough moments but I'm better. Promise." Kissing her forehead. "Val told me you were. I didn't believe her until I saw you walking. Shit." Her hand goes to her mouth. "You talk to my mom still?" Floored Ma said nothing. "We talked every once and awhile before it happened. After dad passed she made sure to check in on us more. She even came to mom's funeral." They kept their bond. She was Ma's daughter. Blood or not. My sisters felt the same. "I'm glad she did." My response surprises her. "When the news came out. I had to call. She kept me in the loop. Even at the worst. She told me." Somethings making her nervous. "She told you what?" I don't remember that time for obvious reasons.  "You cried out my name the moment you almost died. After while you were unconscious too." Her voice sad.