wish you were mine

I never thought one day I would fall my brother's bestfriend
I was a girl who never cared about other's shitty comments
A girl you gained her popularity on her own
I rejected many proposals just for my boy
I started to have a crush on you
I used to steal your number from my brother's phone and call you
And the craziest thing is that you've found out it was me
I used to wave and smile at you with those blushy cheeks
I would discuss for a fucking whole day with my bitches to share a single post about you
I would imagine me and you in the songs that I hear
Never thought one day that songs will stab me back
I'm not a girl who falls for popularity
But I did ... I fell for a senior boy who proposed me and I accepted it ...
We were highschool sweet hearts who were envied by everyone.. who were a main character in the teacher's gossip session
But sometimes it makes me feel guilty when I see your story .. when I hear those songs.. i literally died....i realised my heart was bound with your love or maybe a thing similar to love
Me and that boy didn't had a thing.. we broke up...cause I found out my heart always belonged to someone whose name I revealed to my classmate through a game....
Then we started talking and we used to walk back together after school hours... We started loving eachother just for fucking days less than a week... You said you didn't have a thing for me after I imagined all those after collide scenes with you.. after I thought who were the Peter Parker to my MJ.. after I thought about the colour of the flowers I hold when we marry... It didn't hurt me.. but when you said you had a thing for someone and your heart never belonged to me... I wanted to cry in that pavement
But you were playing football with you friends.
When I walk alone in that pavement I wish you were there to hold me or even walk with me... It shattered my heart into pieces knowing you will never walk with me... But when I saw you waiting for the girl who literally flirts with every boy ,my tiny heart pieces were nowhere to be found .. it was on my cheeks pouring down
Am I that worse that you choose to walk home with her...
I miss those glances we had when we were dating... I miss those 5 second eye contact we had concealing the love we had for each other
I miss the way I see you when you score a goal
I miss seeing you happy while you play your favourite game
But I can't move on
I know I'm not pretty enough compared to that girl who you praise as if she was your muse
You were drunk and crying for her... While I'm in my delulu world thinking about the drunken text you would have texted me at 3 if we dated for a little longer
And maybe IF I WAS A FOOTBALL ,YOU WOULD HAVE ENGRAVED ME IN YOUR HEART... BUT MY FATE, I WAS BORN AS A HUMAN LOVING YOU MADLY EVEN THOUGH YOU CHOSE HER OVER ME and I will wait for you even for a thousand years ... I'll wait until I become your coffee pot,until my brother calls you his brother in law until you know my existence until you realise I was a girl who fucking waited for you and never fell in love until SHE FOUND HER MAN (YOU)
Ofcourse it hurts me to realize the love I'm hiding for you
I want you to be mine.. I want you to hold my hand.. i want you to teach our son football wearing the number 7 red t-shirt , and me standing carrying a book in my hand and your princess in my womb who will definitely fall for a football prince just as I fell for you
And I want you to know..im still waiting... For those 5 second eye contact down the stairs... I'm still waiting FOR YOU TO BE MINE, ONLY MINE
I'm still waiting for you with a note engraved in my heart using my UNDYING LOVE for you as a pen
And It says
I WISH YOU WERE MINE