Summer and May

Chapter Thirty-Five: Summer

It seemed everyone was out-of-body tonight. Every last person at that party seemed to recognize the same thing I did; it was our last summer as kids. We would all be leaving soon, and nothing would be the same after. Aside from the fireworks, this party was more electric that usual. The music was perfect, the lights were glowing, the mood was eclectic and reckless. Anything could happen. Those who never spoke in high school were making out in dark corners. Different groups and niches were mingling over drinking games.

Everything was different, and nothing was off-limits. Drinks were flowing at an easy yet a rapid pace. Every soul at this party was in a euphoric state, as if we were all in agreement that tonight would be the most unforgettable night of the summer. The more I drank, the more I realized that I had spent every single party this summer trying to get Jeremy's attention in one way or another. If I wasn't off in the woods making out with him, I was trying my hardest to talk to him like a nice girl would. And if I wasn't doing that, and I was without him completely, I made a show of my singleness in front of everybody. Tonight would be different. I wouldn't waste a single moment on Jeremy, or the endless thoughts about him, May, college... I would live tonight for just me. I was going to make damn sure that I'd enjoy it.

A few hours into the night, my feet were dangling over Brooks' lap while a group of us sat around the fire. I wondered to myself if this is how May usually feels. She loved spending time with this group of boys, and I could understand why, even in my drunk state. I didn't understand a thing they were talking about --something about sports and batting averages-- but they were treating me like I was one of their own. 

Two of them confessed that they had loved me all of high school, which was news to me. Two more confessed that they loved May, but this didn't surprise me. Everyone that met May loved her. Brooks and I shared a particular kind of love for her. He tensed just slightly when his friends mentioned their mutual adoration for my best friend, which drew my attention towards him.

Over the next several minutes, his friends filtered out one by one. I relieved my curiosity the second we were alone.

"Did it bother you, hearing your friends talk about May?" I ask, my Solo cup covering half my face.

The fire crackled, my legs still laid on his, and his forearms rested gently on my thighs. "It's nothing I didn't already know. I'm one of the many, unfortunately."

I crack a smile for her, although I'm still upset with May. "And she truly walks around thinking that guys don't see her that way. It's ridiculous." He rolled his eyes in a sarcastic manner, shifting his weight closer to me. "I have to say it. I'm sorry you two didn't work out. She told me about it a few days ago."

He shrugged, tracing around a few stray freckles on my shins. It weirdly felt good on my skin, like a pool of water on a hot day. "Thanks, Sum. I'm fine... I think. I mean, she's been my best friend for years, so we'll be okay. I just really had it in my head that we belonged together. My parents loved her parents, and wanted us to get together since we were kids. I guess somewhere along the way, I held onto that idea in a weird attempt to please my parents."

"So none of it was real? I don't really believe that."

His mouth pulls to the side as he stared into the fire. "No, my feelings for her were real. It's impossible not to love her." I smile just slightly. Damn I missed her. "But we don't belong together. She made a good point the other night... She told me I was meant for more than this town, than a small-town girl. USC is where I belong. She's so much more than a small-town girl, but I couldn't help but admit she was right."

I let out a long breath of air. I wanted so badly to get inside May's head and figure her out. This was a piece of May that I admired, but never understood.