Ava's Guarded Heart

four

            High school is tough, not because of the
workload, but the constant need to wear a fake smile every day. No one truly understands what you're going through. As a kid, your brain can't comprehend how challenging life really is – how could it? Your parents create a facade, pretending everything is fine, they assure you that you can have the toy you adore, even if it's not within their budget. They make sure you feel loved, even if it means skipping a meal for lunch at work. Moms always been that way, and looking back, it saddens me. I wonder if I was the cause of some fights between Mom and Dad, about money.

Mom met Henry after accidentally causing a fire in her old apartment. She had just moved out from her parents' house, still learning adulthood. It was a new experience for her. Mom claims her parents have abusive behavior, so we don't talk to them, she saved just enough to survive for a couple of months before landing the office job she has now. Mom says it was love at first sight with Henry – that undeniable feeling when you know they're the one. Dad didn't judge her for accidentally leaving the stove on with a hot pan full of oil while she went to shower, and so Dad gave mom his number incase she needed 'personal lessons' on cooking.

I've never felt love beyond my parents, no school crushes, no desire to talk to boys – those movies they show on TV are bullshit. Love at first sight doesn't happen at a random coffee shop or high schools like they show. In this generation, nobody really cares to get to know you for a shot at love.

High school in this world teaches you not to let your guard down.

I miss dad.

"Ava?"

I'm abruptly pulled back into reality – the one where Dad's gone, and I'm stuck at Lakewood High.

My attention returns to the assignment paper, only to find it wet, with a few droplets smudging the ink.

Am I crying?
Not here, not now.

"Did I do something?"

The agitating voice of Kaleb fills my ears and although every fiber of my being longs to snap back at him, sheer exhaustion keeps me from doing so.

Why is he here?
Leave me alone.

I exhale audibly, using the sleeve of my denim jacket to wipe my face. My gaze moves to Kaleb, He resembles a sad puppy, making one side of my mouth to curve upward.

"No," I reassure, using my delicate fingers to conceal the damp marks on my paper.

Kaleb Miller, the high school heartthrob at LakeWood High, offered to be my partner for this biology project.

But why?

I look back to him, focused on my expression. His lips quiver, as if unable to witness my distress for some odd reason.

My cheeks radiate heat. I shift my gaze to Kalebs hand, finding it tightly gripping his pencil, entwined between his silver rings. My attention moves to his other hand, marked, before returning to meet his deep, dark blue eyes.

"It's a burn mark. When I was a kid I purposely ignored my mom telling me to stay away from a hot pan sitting on the stove and burned it." 

He tries concealing his hand after I catch a glimpse.

"Anything for some kind of attention right?"

"I doubt you had trouble with that, look at you." I scoff, glancing back to my paper that only that my name written on it.

"Is Ava finally admitting that she finds me somewhat attractive?" Kaleb responds with amusement, one eyebrow raised.

"What, No!" I shout embarrassed.