Memories

2

4 a.m 

I am skating with my whole heart being content. I had no clue I had this much energy early in the morning. Tristian is in the locker room taking care of Tucker while I am skating. He has been a good bodyguard for these past few days.  We would have small conversations, but nothing more since I am trying to protect my secret also it would complicate things if anything went wrong. 

Tucker grown attach to him where I would say it's a good thing, but I know this will not end well when he begins to question why Tucker looks like him. Ever since he got here people have been telling him that Tucker looks like him. I kept skating trying to block out the noise of my anxiety with my mother on one end and the press on the other. I tried to remember that skating is my life. 

Tristian 

That morning, she left and walk out of my life was the worst day of my life. I never thought this figure skater was leave an imprint on my heart and my mind. I thought this was going to be another one nightstand I usually have. I usually sleep with the girl and leave without thinking about calling them let alone getting their name most of the time. This one was the one that escape my clutches without leaving a name or anything for me to remember other than the memories. 

It's those memories that will stick to me forever where she and I made love passionately in a maddening way. Why did she leave me, especially without a name to match her face even thought I barely had time to look at her face. Her voice is imprint in my mind and when I heard it all over again for the first time. It was the figure skater Emily who disappeared last year because she had a hidden pregnancy. She revealed her pregnancy to the world when she was in the hospital giving birth to a beautiful boy. 

People was so shocked to hear that she gave her year that could made her a gold Olympian to become a mother. She knew it was going to be tough to get back from where she was before she went into hiding. I knew she was looking for a bodyguard, so I had my boss refer me to her manager in order for me to get close to find out if it was her that night last year. I was so afraid to face her because what if she doesn't remember me from last year, especially when I saw the kid. The kid looks awfully alike to me, and I was starting to question if the child is mine because there is no way this kid looks like me. When she came down the stairs, I saw that she was startled as if she saw a ghost which gives me a sign that she recognizes from somewhere. 

I know she is not ready to talk about it or maybe she thinks I forgot that I met her last year where our bodies did the talking. I knew it would be best to not bombarde her with the news of us until I know I am for sure she was the one I slept with last year. I can't help to stare at her because she is so beautiful compared to how she looks on tv. I can tell she is going through something because her mother is something else. Her mother is so demanding where she wants her daughter to be perfect, also she wants her to come home with the gold medal and nothing else. 

I see why she doesn't trust her enough to be with her son because her mother is going through something. I feel like the mother is dealing with bipolar because one moment she is ok and the next she is out of control and taking it out on her daughter as she blames her for getting pregnant. 

She was done skating, so she came into the locker room undressing because it was time to go home. 

''Hey, are you ready to go?'' I can tell she was not in the mood to talk, so I let her take Tucker to embrace him while I make sure I take her home. The whole entire car ride was quiet which I tend to prefer until we were sitting in the car in the driveway. She didn't move let alone say anything until she turn her head to stare at me. 

''Do you want to sleep with me?'' I never thought she would ever say that. I don't think she is feeling ok because I doubt that she would suggest that if I want to sleep with her. Then she realizes that I was freaked out when she offers. 

''I am sorry.'' She realizes she hasn't taken her meds, so she is saying things she shouldn't. Then her mother walks out of the house pulling her out of the car asking her why she was not at the rink skating to become the best all over again. 

''Mom, what the fuck.'' She was so angry that her mother pulled her out of the car. I got out of the car as Tucker was crying while I am trying to break a fight between mother and daughter. 

''YOU ARE A WASTE OF PLACE!'' Her mother didn't take her meds neither because she is out of control for coming out just to thrash talk her daughter. I told her mother to go inside of the house to cool off where she went to the bathroom trying to take her meds, but she knows how it makes her feel. 

''Can you please check up on my mother.'' She attended to Tucker and his crying. I went to check up on Carol where she was in the bathroom cutting herself up as she was shouting through the door telling me to leave her alone.  Emily was in the house as she places Tucker in his room going to check up on her mother asking her if she took her meds. 

''I hate taking the meds.'' 

''You need to take it.'' She says. 

''I hate you.'' Carol was not feeling well. Carol begins to rant how Emily ruin her life because she never wanted kids because she was going to be a gold medalist Olympians until she realizes she was pregnant with Emily. She thought Emily would save her, but she became another failure. 

Emily told her that she is not a failure, and she will never be like her because she only thinks about skating and the Olympics while she is a mother to Tucker. 

''Tucker should never existed, then maybe you would be thinking like a winner.'' In that moment Emily needed to kick her mother out because she cannot have her negative energy around her and her son.  She promises to herself that she will get the gold medal for her and not her mother, but to prove to her mother that she is better than her.

Her mother knew she needs to stay to keep her on the same regime before she had Tucker, but Emily insisted for her to leave the house because she needs to focus on herself and her son. Her mother is a lot to handle, so her mother call someone to come get her. Emily went to her room crying and trying hard to not panic, but she ended up having a panic attack. 

''TRISTIAN!'' She calls out my name. I attended to her to help her out where I went through her purse seeing things I shouldn't have. I gave her a pill to help her with her anxiety and panic attacks, also I told her to take deep breaths. I found ways to calm her down where she kissed me thanking me for helping her. 

''No problem.'' I never knew what she was going through until her mother show her true colors earlier until she mentions that her mother deals with bipolar depression. Then I begin to ask her if she have the same thing as her mother. She laughs as she tells me how she has bipolar depression also she gets panic attacks due to her anxiety. 

I never thought she was dealing with a major issue, but now it makes sense why people said they saw her spiral out last year. ''When the news mention that I spiral out when they were trying to take pictures of my baby.'' She was crying. 

''Yes.'' I replied. 

''It was true.'' She wipes her tears, but she didn't want to anyone to know that she suffers bipolar depression because people won't see her the same way. I understood her because people would spin this saying, she is crazy, and they don't want to be around people who are crazy. I felt like she deserves better than what is given. I helped her take a shower as I bring her food before she fell asleep. I told her I will take care of Tucker in order for her to get some rest because she had a long day. 

''Thank God for you Tristian. '' She fell asleep as I kiss her forehead. I went through her purse trying to discover more about her illness, also more things about her. I know I shouldn't, but I was curious to know more.