LOVE ; dazai & chuuya x reader [✓]

3 : you

yosano knows now. chuuya desperately wanted to bring me to a hospital, but i declined- saying that I'd rather yosano treat me instead, adding on that she's been my doctor since i joined the ADA. with that excuse, dazai probably won't overthink too much on it.

thus, chuuya very begrudgingly relented.

now here i am, sitting on one of the beds in the medical bay, yosano drumming her fingers against the clipboard. the atmosphere was tense, the door to the room was locked, the blinds were drawn as well. beside me, was a pail where i regurgitated those petals out- as well as some fresh ones which i had just hacked up.

yosano's gaze on me hardened, unrelenting.

"yosano-"

"y/n, you're in love with dazai and chuuya, aren't you?" yosano interrupted me, her drumming stopped. i tensed, picking at the skin of my fingers. "you called him by his first name." i pointed out, but also as a desperate means to change the subject.

"so? everyone calls him that anyway, y/n." yosano rolled her eyes, swivelling around on her chair to face me. "chuuya from the port mafia, and dazai from the ADA. honestly, I don't know how they even got together."

my mood soured.

"y/n, you're my best friend." yosano grabbed my hands in hers, stopping my little nervous habit. "I don't want you to die." she admitted, running her thumb over mine. my heart aches, but for her this time. seeing the sad look on her face, guilt overwhelmed me.

because I'd rather die for the both of them, than live on for her.

"I'm sorry." i breathed out, yosano pulling away to grab at a few bottles. she understood that i chose them over her. silence ensued.

"... you're almost at the flowering stage." she finally spoke, lifting each bottle up to look at the label. "I'm thinking that you're progressing very quickly, considering you see them everyday." i looked down at my hands.

"...could you keep this a secret, please?" i asked, fisting the bedsheets. yosano spared me a glance, before handing me two bottles of meds. "for now." she replied, and i was instantly overcome with relief. yosano sighed again, for the third time.

"these medications won't do much, but they'll hopefully slow it down a little." she explained. "come back here immediately once you start coughing up flowers. do you understand?" she said, lifting my chin up such that my eyes met hers. her gaze was hard, and strong, and sad.

guilt welled up in my chest.

"...yes." i replied, yosano letting me go. she unlocked the door, opened the blinds, and gestured to the exit. "leave." i left immediately, the two bottles of pills weighing me down with an invisible force.

i chose them, over her. how could i?

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