Because Of You

Chapter 56

Her time with Levi hadn't been wasted. With the recruits fully trained and prepared for whatever the titans could throw at them, she had no where to be, other than by Levi's side. Occasionally, she went out and did her usual training regime, maintaining her physique and strength - she knew the journey ahead would be dangerous, and she couldn't afford to take any risks.

Now, she had a reason to live. A reason to keep fighting no matter what. And she'd be damned if she didn't try her hardest to keep that reason alive.

As the sun began to set on their final day before the big expedition, she found herself outside, training once again. Running was easy for her, it helped her focus and clear her head. She felt as though she was getting better since the whole incident a few months ago ; the nightmares were less frequent, her physical injuries were merely scars, and she had a sense of purpose back. The recruits gave her that, she was glad they were ready for battle.

After a few more laps, she began to slow her pace and stopped running. Her breath was steady, despite how fast she'd been going, and she barely felt tired. She brushed her hands through the stray hairs that had fallen from her ponytail and pushed them out of her face, that's when she noticed him.

"Levi? You weren't looking for me were you?" She asked him, worried incase he'd been searching the grounds for her while she'd been running.

He shook his head. "Saw you from my office window." He revealed as her eyes traveled to the window. "I wanted to let you know that we'll be going out as a regiment soon. A celebration of sorts before the big mission tomorrow."

Her features softened at the news, for some reason, she'd grown accustomed to expecting the worst when approached out of the blue. "A celebration, huh?" She smiled a little. "That'll be good for morale. Heaven knows everyone needs the confidence." She began walking back towards the building, side-by-side with Levi.

He hummed, agreeing with her. "Your recruits seem pretty confident already. You think they're up for it?"

She hoped they were, otherwise, she'd been a terrible drill sergeant. But she couldn't afford to doubt herself, not with all the evidence stating against that. They'd gotten stronger, faster, more agile, and she taught them every trick in the book to help them survive. Their improvement was undeniable, she could even see it in some of their figures.

"They have to be." She said, her tone filled with determination. "I know they've improved - significantly so - but I just hope it's enough to get them back in one piece. I can't help but feel responsible for them. You know?"

Levi knew the feeling all too well. He'd been a recruit trainer before, he knew the weight that he put on his own shoulders. It made him deeply regret giving Carmen that responsibility. "I'm only telling you this because I care about you, and I don't want you getting hurt." He reluctantly stated, it was clear he'd given it a lot of thought. "Not all of the recruits are going to make it back alive, no matter how hard you train them, no matter how much they've improved. Just, don't hold yourself responsible if something does happen to them."

He didn't want to offend her, or doubt her for one second, but he had to tell her - she had to know what was in store for her. Levi expected her to defend herself in some way, however, she shocked him when she simply sighed.

Unexpectedly, her hand brushed against his, and he felt her gently grasp his hand before interlocking her fingers with his. Her touch was soothing in a way, despite how rugged her hands were and how many scars her could make out, he felt utterly safe.

"I know." She said, her tone calm. "I've always known that a lot of them probably won't make it back. But, I figured that even if only one of them does, then that's one life I've saved. Right?" Hey eyes met his, a glimmer of hope in them that he'd been seeing from her more frequently.