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How Does It Feel To Feel In Love?

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by your_SUPREMA

by your_SUPREMA

Maybe I'm too dull. Maybe I'm toxic. Maybe I'm too hard for my self. Maybe the reason I can't be happier is because I'm too focused with my flaws.

Each day, I often ask my self at the mirror, "why do you look so un pretty?" I mean, why can't I be just be like the other girls who looks effortlessly gorgeous. With their messy hair in the morning, even when they are asleep looks elegant. Why does it have to be so unfair to me that even when I'm sleeping I get conscious because I drool over the bed. I'm not beautiful because I don't reach the standard. I'm not fit like the girls on TV's. I'm not perfect and it made me sick thinking that nobody will love me because I'm too ugly.

And my teacher in my Art Appreciation told me this, "There is no such thing as beauty, it only existed on people's mind. You make judgement based on your perception towards that person". And I have realized that maybe I always pitied my self because I maked people around me make an impression based on what I think about my self. I truly never appreciated my self which is very important because it soon turns to love my self. Without us understanding our self, means we lost appreciating the flaws that defines us, abd when we define who we are as an individual, we get more focused with our self that we bound to love our flaws and become better version of who we really are.

I don't know how to accept compliment from others but I learn to accept that maybe there is something they see as beautiful maiden within me which I never see because I'm too drown of criticising of my own nature that I often compared to those girls that serves as a standard in this society.

I realised that, at this age, the reason why I don't believe in love is because I never chose to love my self first. And it is true, slowly, I'm healing, loving my self is the greatest gift I can offer and it is the most romantic thing I can do because I see the real me beneath the mask I am wearing. In the process, loving my self is being free from toxicity.

🌟💫✨