-Marina Oneshots-

-What Used To Be Mine- Angst

Cold breeze, I shiver as I feel it run up my spine and I shift in bed, reaching over to the other side just to feel nothing. I sigh and sit up, lazily pushing the covers off of me and letting my feet touch the ground. I walk towards the kitchen, down the cold, silent, hallway. When I reach the kitchen I grab my glass of water but I can't find it in me to drink it, so I don't. I stand there, staring into glass as my reflection ripples through it. My alarm goes off, finally breaking my train of thought. I groan, rub my hand against my forehead and take off towards ou- my room to get ready for this shift. 

I finish getting ready and make my way to the door, grabbing my car keys off the hook next to my coat, I stuff the car keys in my pocket and grab my coat throwing it over my shoulders and slipping my arms through. I walk down my apartment's hallways, down the stairs and out to the parking lot. The rain outside spilling onto the solid concrete, dying it a dark grey. I feel the rain pelt my back and head, slowly trickling down my neck and soaking in my shirt . I finally make it to my car and pull the door open slipping inside and sighing. 

"This is going to be a long shift." I grunt. Honestly I'm not even sure what happens in my life anymore. One moment, I'm happy, I'm captain of Station 19 , I'm married, I have friends. The next minute I have nothing. My wife has left, I'm not captain and all of my friends think I've lost it. I push my way through the doors with the familiar 'S19' printed right in the middle. I make my way up the steps not trying to make eye contact with whoever was sitting at the desk and continuing on my way. I hear laughter coming from the beanery and walk past it, Not like they'd care anyways. I open my locker, empty, bare except one photo, I stare at the photo, brown eyes staring right back at mine. I put my hand up against the photo and brush my hands over her face and sigh. Carina. I grabbed my uniform and slammed my locker shut. Willing myself to just get through this shift, I see Vic walk past me and not make eye contact. I get that blackmail isn't the best way to go about my situation but they were my family. I would never have left them. I continue walking trying my best not to look at everyone walking out of the beanery, Most of them just ignoring me anyways except one of them.

"Hi Mai" Jack says softly and keeps walking past me, down the stairs and into the barn. I smile, it quickly fades when I walk down the steps of the station and see her. Carina, standing there talking with a lady? That I've never seen before, the lady brushed her hand down Carina's arm and I couldn't help but feel jealous, That's my wife but who am I to say anything because I'm the one that told her to leave, I'm the one who made her choose, I'm the one who hurt her. I'm a bad wife, I look back over at them solemnly and I see Carina laugh, actually laugh, I haven't seen that smile, that laugh, that look in her eyes..well I'm not even sure how long. Hopefully this new lady could make her happier than I ever could. I continue making my way down the steps, feeling like everything is in slow motion. I make my way past them and Carina looks over at me, Her smile faltering for a moment as we make eye contact and I offer a slight smile. At least she's happy. Finally I reach the doors and push them open walking into the barn and seeing the clinic set up with people flooding the area.

"Maya..?" I turn around to see Jack standing there, arms full over medical supplies "Uhm..Welcome back?" He awkwardly smiles and tries to give jazz hands but with all the medical supplies in his arms, he stumbles and almost drops some things.

"Ahaha..Uhm Mai? Listen I just wanna apologize for um..not being there"

"It's alright Jack, you were going through a lot as well" I reply.

"I get it, you know? He states.

"Get what?" I chuckle awkwardly.

"The loneliness..But hey you're not alone! I'm here now-..." I try to focus on Jack's voice but everything goes quiet when I look over his shoulder and see that lady pressing a kiss to Carina's cheek as they both smile at each other. I know Jack is still talking, Hell he's probably trying to get my attention. Carina and the lady go out of view as Jack turns around to see what I'm looking at. His face drops slightly. Everything starts to get tight, my clothes feel like they are sticking to my body and I'm sweating, I push past Jack and rush out of the barn. My chest feels tight and my breathing is starting to get shallow. I look up and see the bathroom door in front of me and I immediately push it open. I turn around quickly and lock the door, spots starting to appear in the corners of my vision. I fumble trying to pop the buttons on my uniform as I do. I rush over to sink and lean on it heavily , I hear Jack knockin- well rather pounding on the bathroom door and my vision starts to get more blurry. She doesn't love me anymore. I stumble backwards, knocking over the trash and other objects off the counter and hear Jack start to yell and throw his body against the door. She doesn't love me anymore. The spots seeming to finally take over my vision and I feel myself fall backwards, head slamming off the ground and more noise. At least she's happy.

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Hi guys!! Please give my requests in the comments, ill try to get to as many as I can. I will not being doing smut though!! Thanks for reading.